137+ Intimate Questions To Get To Know Someone

Whether you’re just starting out in a relationship or have been together for a while, there’s always more to learn about your partner, even if you think you know everything about them. Spending a lot of time together is common in relationships, but it’s important to keep things fresh as both of your needs and goals evolve.

One way to deepen your connection and discover more about each other’s dreams and aspirations is by asking personal, passionate, and thought-provoking questions.

For me, I’ve come to prefer a cozy, romantic dinner at home over a night out. It’s a simple process that starts with setting the mood—dim the lights, put on some favorite music, and prepare a delicious meal to cook together.

While setting the mood is key for a romantic evening at home, engaging conversation is what truly makes the experience special. To help you spark meaningful conversations and make each date with your partner more memorable, I’ve compiled a list of intimate questions for you both to explore together.

What keeps relationships intact?

Couples are kept together in part by intimacy because it fosters a feeling of trust and kinship between them. In the long run, this strengthens relationships and keeps couples from drifting apart.

Intimacy is what essentially keep relationships strong. Relationship happiness is greatly influenced by emotional closeness, which may even be more important than sexual intimacy.
This should come as no surprise given that intimacy affects closeness, loving behavior, and a high degree of relationship trust. The likelihood of infidelity has been linked to low levels of emotional intimacy and marital unhappiness and uncertainty.

It is helpful to be aware of the different levels of intimacy in a relationship because intimate questions can be essential for fostering a connection and keeping relationships intact. To help you both dive deep into conversation and enhance the quality of every date you go on with your partner, I’ve put together a list of intimate questions.

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Attraction in General

What is it that you initially noticed about me?

Is it crucial to seek a love connection with someone you find physically attractive?

Do you normally identify with a type? Do I suit your kind in any way?

What do you say about me when you tell other people?

What information about you would you like me to share with others?

What qualities do you find distinctive about me?

What is the first thing that usually enters your thoughts when you see me?

How would you feel if I dyed my hair a different colour or otherwise drastically altered my look over night?

How would you feel if I put on weight or otherwise changed the way I looked over time?

What kind of fragrance do you enjoy on a woman?

What more could I do for you than what I already do?

What do you think about initially when you see me?

What about me appeals to you the most?

What goals do you have in mind for us?

What do you believe to be true about me that you haven’t asked me to confirm?

How important are holidays and special events to you?

Also check – Smart Questions To Ask In An Interview

Questions Regarding the Past

You could be the sort that wants to know about your partner’s background before you can move on with them. If you intend to have a close relationship or remain together for a long time (perhaps getting married), you should feel free to ask any questions you have. Asking your partner personal questions is a great way to deepen your connection and learn more about their background. You must be careful not to criticize them for their mistakes and to prevent envy from harming your relationship. Keep in mind that by asking these questions, you’ll also be able to access their history.

Have you ever had an affair with a partner? If not, have you thought about it but then decided against it?

Did you second guess your decision to ask me out? Why did you decide against doing so?

What were your thoughts during our initial date?

Before me, had you ever been in love?

Have you ever cheated on your partner? If not, have you given it some thought before deciding against it?

How many previous relationships have you had?

Also check – Important Questions To Ask Doula

Future-related questions

Do you want to discover if you and your partner make a good long-term match? Ask challenging questions concerning the direction of the situation. Go as far into the future as you feel comfortable, but be mindful of how long you have been dating and the plans you have previously discussed before bringing up topics like retirement financial planning, as you don’t want to give the wrong impression.

In a year, where do you see this relationship going? And the following five years?

What are your views on getting married and having kids?

If you knew I couldn’t have kids, would you still choose to remain with me?

How may your professional objectives impact our relationship?

Where do you see residing after you retire?

I want to take care of you and be a nice lover. How can I help you become that lady

Questions about love

Simply ask personal questions about love if you want to establish connection and learn anything. If you want to connect and learn about love, simply ask personal questions about it.

Do you believe in soul mates?

How do you feel about falling in love at first sight?

What can I do to show you how much I care?

Do you think our relationship will last?

Would you rather have someone do something kind for you out of love or receive a gift?

Do you favour thoughtful presents over more useful ones?

How do you respond to praise?

How do you directly show your lover how much you care?

Significant Questions Regarding Intimacy

Any committed relationship has to have an intimate component. Not everything revolves on what occurs in the bedroom. Of course, it could be a factor in your relationship, but there are other activities you might engage in or dates you can arrange based on your partner’s dreams. Do not be timid. Simply inquire if you want to learn more and establish closeness.

Are we physically intimate enough for you? What in your opinion would improve it?

How do you prefer to be touched, and where?

Do you favorny fantasies you’d want to see come true?

What do you think of toys?

In an ideal situation, as well as somewhat realistically, how often do you want us to have private moments?

What activities may I engage in outside of the bedroom to maintain the sensation of intimacy throughout the day?

Is there anything you’d like to try that we haven’t already?

Questions that can be asked through text

It should not come as a surprise that personal talk may occur through text, as texting is quickly replacing face-to-face interactions for many couples. For people who feel awkward engaging in intimate conversation in person, it may even be simpler to ask private inquiries through text. To start a private chat, try any of these text inquiries.

What about me do you miss the most at the moment?

What is anything you’ve wanted to say to me but haven’t been able to?

When we next get together, what do you want me to do?

Where should I kiss you, exactly?

What was the moment when you felt the closest to me?

What defining phrase would you want to describe our connection in one word?

How can I improve as a partner?

Questions about their likes and preferences

Knowing someone’s preferences may help you better grasp who they are as a person. The key is to probe further by offering follow-up questions. For instance, if you learn that they prefer cats, dig a little deeper by asking them about their favorite breed or the characteristics they like best about their cat.
Commonalities frequently act as a starting point for further conversation, and once that door is wide open, you may start a conversation that allows the other person to explain instead of just giving brief responses. Here are some questions you can go forward with:

What do you like to do on your days off?

What kind of music do you like?

Describe your finest vacation to date and explain why.

Describe your interests and how you became interested in them.

What was your preferred age as a child?

What did you read most recently?

Which category best describes you—extrovert or introvert?

What television programme did you recently binge-watch?

Do you enjoy listening to podcasts or solely music?

Which holiday is your favourite? If not, why not?

What music usually makes you want to dance?

What calms you down right away?

How do you want to spend your ideal birthday?

Which season is your favourite and why?

Do you prefer to order in or cook at home?

Which board game is your favourite?

What do you value most in your life, and why?

What would you do right away if you won the lottery?

Questions regarding their career

Regardless of how someone may feel about their job, the reality is that many individuals spend a lot of time and energy at work. Facilitate a conversation where you leave knowing how they feel about their career to help you get to know someone better.
Just be ready to reciprocate their transparency when they ask you for the same in regard to your professional life. Be prepared to answer some questions as well because the first few discussions determine whether the individual wants to continue getting to know you. Try these conversation starters:

Is there a job you would never do?

When you come home from work, what do you do first?

Who or what motivates you professionally?

What is anything about your industry that a stranger wouldn’t know?

Do you have a morning ritual at work? If so, how does it feel?

Can you work remotely, and if so, do you like it?

Are all of your employees friendly with one another?

What do you like best about your present position?

What aspect of your job most irritates you?

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

Do you tend to “live to work” or “work to live” more often?

Do you feel content and pleased in your work? If not, why not?

When did you begin working, at what age?

Have you ever considered starting a side business?

Do you think you’re effective at networking?

What career guidance would you provide to a younger version of yourself?

Do you think it’s wise to have a “five-year plan”?

Questions about family

A fantastic approach to learning more about someone personally? Find out more about your loved ones. Hendrix says that discussing intimate connections may spark tales, and telling stories fosters connection and

How long do you spend with your family each day?

Who do you like spending time with the most, and why?

Who in the family cooks the greatest meals?

How has your perspective of your family evolved over time?

Do you wish you had a larger family or are you content with the amount you have now?

Which member of your family has affected you the most?

What is your favourite grandparent-related tale?

Growing up, were you close to your family?

Who in your family gives you the most sense of security?

Do you intend to start a family?

Would you want to alter your connection with a relative if you could? If so, who, exactly?

What was it like to be the youngest, oldest, middle, or only kid growing up?

What is the best family memory you have?

Do you ever wish you had a different upbringing?

Would you like to have more siblings? Why, if so?

Have you ever misled your parents or kept something from them?

What kind of family time do you like the most?

How can you express your affection for your family?

What is your preferred family custom?

Questions you can ask about their values

Finding out about someone’s values is like finding out about their user guide. Even seemingly unimportant behaviors, like what drives someone to do well on a presentation or what they value, might reveal a person’s core beliefs.
You may discover a person’s genuine nature, the way they conduct their life, and the motivations behind their behavior by knowing about their life philosophy.
Having said that, you can’t just ask someone what their values are. What you may question is: In your opinion, what characteristics define a “good person”? What you can ask:

Do you think love can be found at first sight?

What nice deeds do you perform for others?

Do you think there are soul mates? If not, why not?

What qualities do you seek in a friend?

Do you believe that wasting time doing something you enjoy is not wasting time?

What hard-learned life lessons have you acquired?

Have you ever known true love? How did you know it was real?

What would ruin a relationship for you?

Which sense—hearing, touch, sight, etc.—would you prefer if you could only have one?

What causes you to feel peaceful?

What gives you the most satisfaction?

Which would you choose: earning more money at a job you detest or earning less at one you cherish?

Which aspect of your character do you find yourself most proud of?

What qualities do you look for most in a friend or partner?

Do you have a motto or piece of wisdom you live by?

How can one gain your confidence?

How can someone betray your confidence?

Which would you prefer: for someone to be truthful and offend you, or for them to tell lies?

What would you do if you could suddenly improve the world with the snap of your fingers?

What would you educate your (future) child if you could only impart one lesson to them?

Do you think there are second chances?

What irrational fear do you have the most?

Are you active on social media or do you prefer to keep things more private?

What exactly do you mean by success?

Do you think there is life in space?

How do you communicate with someone who doesn’t share your viewpoint?

Questions about their dreams

These inquiries probe the subject’s motivations: What propels them to get out of bed and start their day each day? What do they contemplate and dream about during the day? You share a more personal experience when you learn about someone’s dreams. Start a meaningful conversation by posing the following:

Do you believe that our dreams may be hiding something?

What motivates you to persevere when you want to quit up?

Do you adhere to any proverbs?

How can a “no” become a “yes”?

Do you find it simple to accept assistance in realising your goals?

What would you do if you could do anything other than what you’re doing right now?

What missed opportunities in the last year do you regret?

What items are on your wish list?

What would you start if you had unrestricted funds to do so?

What would you do if you learned that today was your final day on Earth?

Where would you choose to reside if you could live anyplace in the world?

Which one of your life events would you like to revisit if you could?

Would you like to become immortal if given the chance?

When and where would you go through time if you could?

Would you want to become famous if it could happen magically?

Conclusion

When asking your partner personal questions, it’s important to be open and willing to listen. You might hear unexpected or challenging responses, but it’s crucial to refrain from criticism. Instead, focus on understanding each other’s perspectives and what you both want from the relationship. Take a moment to process your partner’s answers before responding, especially if you feel surprised or upset.

Remember, disagreements are natural in any relationship. The key to lasting love is maintaining open and frequent communication.

Be prepared to answer any personal questions your partner may have for you in return. Relationships thrive on both giving and receiving.

If you need to lighten the mood after sharing deep secrets, try asking some random yes-or-no questions or engaging in a fun couple’s quiz together.

Sharing personal information with someone deepens your relationship with them. So, be open and let your guard down to answer these probing questions honestly and openly.