34+ Signs He Is Using You And What To Do Now

Women who are aware of the telltale indicators that a man is exploiting them can act appropriately and prevent an emotional breakdown later on in the relationship. Although falling in love is an exhilarating experience that makes you feel butterflies, it may not always turn out as you had hoped. It is always preferable to understand that you are not his top concern and that he is only using you because not all relationships are healthy. It’s never enough, no matter how much you want to make him happy.

A man in love will go to great lengths to express his feelings for his partner. Watch out for signals that your partner is exploiting you and isn’t serious about you if you sense that he is hesitant about the connection. It will help you avoid falling for their ruse even further.

A guy would tell you right away if he really likes you but has to take things slowly due to personal concerns. He won’t keep you in the dark since he wants to prevent you from growing impatient and leaving. When you’re caught up in the romance, you could overlook the apparent indicators. In the article that follows, we’ll look at a list of red flags you may look for to see if your date is genuinely interested in you or is just attempting to get a free ride. Read on.
Signs He Is Using You

Also check – Signs he has lost interest in you / Signs he is not that into you

Signs He Is Using You

He only meets when he is available.

If your boyfriend only finds time for you when it’s convenient for him, he could be exploiting you. Regardless of their hectic schedules, partners must find time to visit one another. Certain items may need to be moved in order to meet the deadline. However, it may become a problem if your partner is not making the effort to see you when it is convenient for both of you. It is unfair if only he sets the time and conditions for your meetings.

Doesn’t take special care of you in any way.

Does your boyfriend treat you to evenings out or bring you flowers? Is he praising you for your greatness? If the response is “no,” that raises a warning. Your partner could not be sincere about the relationship if he does nothing to make you feel cherished, unique, and valued. He is only using you to get money, have sex, have a place to stay, or avoid being alone.

You inevitably end up having s*x.

If there is sex every time you two meet, it could be a sign that he is taking advantage of you. He could be more interested in a sexual connection than a serious relationship if he just made time to sleep with you. He is exploiting you for sex if you two meet, and he only wants to jump your bones before leaving.

He does not desire exclusivity.

Men who do not desire exclusivity seek out other possibilities. If a guy can devote himself so fervently (and for the rest of his life) to a sports team, he can devote himself to you as well. Therefore, he is not committed to the relationship if he “wants to take things gradually” and is not exclusive.

He does not practice what he preaches.

He does not practice what he preaches. He may look down on you if he sees you talking to other guys while conversing with other women. This frequently indicates that your partner is flirting with other women and believes you are as well.

He isolates himself.

He isn’t being honest with you. You want to assume that he’s simply shy and give him the benefit of the doubt. However, as time goes on, you never truly learn about his ambitions, his friends, or his life. He does not appear to want to discuss anything with you. He seldom communicates his powerful emotions; hence, there is a communication gap. He may appear agitated or irritated on a regular basis, but he will not explain why.

You have dull discussions.

You can comprehend him better if you have stimulating chats that go on late into the night. With your partner, though, it doesn’t occur. He converses with you about politics, sports, and the weather, but you find yourself yearning for something more profound and intimate. In the hopes of gaining the same insights, you find yourself disclosing more and more about your life, but it seems like he isn’t interested. The bottom line is that you should reevaluate your relationship if he is unable to openly discuss relationship difficulties with you.

He is unconcerned about your feelings.

He has a chilly, distant aura. You can be certain that he isn’t the one if he doesn’t get you. To create an intimate and meaningful connection, an innate understanding is required. The little things matter, and knowing your spouse well is essential to making things work after the initial spark has worn off.

You haven’t met any of his friends.

A good indication that your significant other is serious about you and envisions a future with you is if he introduces you to his friends. However, if you have been dating for a few months and he hasn’t yet introduced you to his social circle and you are unfamiliar with his personal life, it raises serious suspicions.

He struggles when talking about commitment

A man is exploiting you if he finds ways to avoid talking about commitment with you. It’s fine to be afraid of commitment or to desire nothing serious, but if he refuses to talk about it, he most likely has a hidden agenda and is only playing you like a fool. If a casual relationship is not what you’re after, end the connection as soon as you can.

He asks for far too many favors.

Does he require your assistance constantly? Do you usually end up paying the bill? In that case, he most certainly isn’t in love with you. Despite his claims to the contrary, actions always speak louder than words. If he frequently requests favors from you or if you believe you are the only one who makes him happy, he may be in the relationship solely to satisfy his desires.

He is hesitant to make compromises.

Unwillingness to compromise is one of the clearest red flags you’ll ever encounter. His needs come before yours in both professional and personal matters, and he treats you more like an afterthought than a top priority. He’s constantly busy, you don’t actually go on dates, and he gets angry when you ask for something. These are alarming indications. If someone genuinely cares about you, they will always make time for you and prioritize your needs in order to make you happy.

In the bedroom, he is selfish.

There must be harmony in any relationship. It’s a real issue if you think he’s only interested in having sex with you and not making love to you or acting emotionally. If you approach him with excellent communication and some advice, perhaps this can be resolved. If not, you are aware of your position. Don’t allow him to prioritize his selfish wants over yours. Any close and personal relationship has to have physical affection.

You do not feel special.

Are you the only one making an attempt to get things to work? If so, your connection is unbalanced. You may be dealing with an uncaring partner if he treats you the same way he treats everyone else, makes you feel like a roommate or a coworker, and does nothing to address your legitimate complaints and worries.

He doesn’t engage in physical intimacy

Physical intimacy is absent, and there are no discussions of needs and wishes. He doesn’t appear very interested in winning your favor or engaging in foreplay. You also start to notice that you don’t catch him doing kind or considerate things. It is crucial that you pay attention to the warning flags if you encounter any of them since he could be exploiting you. Have an open discussion since they could just be expressing love differently, but don’t be afraid to assert your needs.

He displays excessive physical affection.

Another warning sign is showing too much physical love. Do not be afraid to establish limits if your Netflix and chill sessions resemble booty call sessions and every interaction develops into something sexual.

He doesn’t give a damn about your aspirations.

A relationship needs a lot of things to function, but one of the most crucial is having compatible values. While family, job, and ambitions are all important, if all he cares about is his own development and objectives without taking into account your aims and dreams, he is exploiting you. With him, you will find it difficult to develop, and under these conditions, your relationship could feel poisonous or unchanging.

He ignores your texts and makes no effort to get to know you.

Every relationship needs cute text messages and online interactions. You discover, though, that your talks have stalled and that you were only able to go on two dates, not because he’s busy but rather because he appears to be really indifferent. When he is not with you and doesn’t take the time to send you a simple, sweet text or a meme, it makes you feel like he has completely forgotten about you. All of these might be signs that he is only using you and isn’t committed to your relationship.

He doesn’t show his feelings.

An unhealthy relationship is evident if he doesn’t exhibit his affection for you verbally or physically. Furthermore, it is challenging to create a solid link if your actual sentiments are never shared. You should still think about your compatibility even if it is only reasonable to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt in this situation.

You only see him when he needs something.

A committed relationship is best established by supporting one another through its highs and lows. It is unequivocal evidence of the unique connection you two have. It is a terrible clue that he is exploiting you, and you should decide quickly whether or not to remain with him since it may cause you to doubt your self-worth if he makes all the decisions and determines when you do what, taking your time and decisions for granted.

He makes remarks about you.

You find his remarks to be unpleasant. Given its manipulation and difficulty in being recognised, this might be one of the worst indicators. He frequently uses sophisticated wording to make his remarks appear to be words of self-improvement. Avoid falling into this trap. The unmistakable indicators include being told that you are not slim enough or being pushed to start diets and strenuous exercise regimens. On everything you wear and everyone you encounter, he has an opinion.

He frequently makes a threat to leave you.

Does he constantly appear to want to end the relationship? If he’s exploiting you, he can force you to follow after him often and cancel last-minute arrangements. You may need to reevaluate your objectives and decide whether you want to stay with someone if you never feel comfortable in your relationship and he consistently defends his behavior.

He keeps you a secret.

He doesn’t post anything about you on social media, not even basic tales of coffee dates, and you haven’t met any members of his close circle. He is clearly exploiting you if he wants to keep you to himself and doesn’t want the public to know about you both. If the relationship goes on, you’ll probably end up with a broken heart.

No matter the circumstance, you are always at fault.

Every argument devolves into a blame game. It will be seen as your fault even if he was at fault. It is really laborious and draining. In a close relationship, it is you and him who are up against the problem, not you and your partner against each other. He is not the right person for you if he always attempts to win the debate.

Does Not Recognize Or Understand Your Feelings.

If your partner doesn’t address your emotions, he may not value you and isn’t sincere about his affections for you. If your boyfriend ignores your problem and moves on to anything else when you want to talk to him about how angry or upset you are, you need to reevaluate your relationship. If he demeans your sentiments by saying “that’s how all women feel” or “you always feel that way” during a serious talk, it is obvious he does not comprehend your feelings.

You Are Ignored In Front Of Others.

It’s not a good indicator if he’s gushing over you one minute but hardly notices you when a coworker passes by. Take note of how your boyfriend treats you when they are among other people, particularly those he knows.

Does not communicate for several days.

Does your lover leave you hanging and then unexpectedly show up at your door when they need something? This suggests that he is abusing you. He ignores your texts and calls for days until he needs some sort of affirmation from you, such as financial or emotional support.

Only meets you at night.

If he only sees you at night, you are not his first priority. He could have had unfulfilled goals or he might not have had anything to do. In either case, you are never the last person on his mind. He doesn’t make arrangements with you first or give you priority; he only calls you at night since his other plans didn’t work out.

He is not available emotionally

Relationships can fall apart if one partner is emotionally unavailable. When your partner is emotionally unavailable, you may notice that they keep their emotions to themselves and avoid discussing them. When you begin discussing a serious topic, they become mute or agitated, shift the subject, or make jokes.
This suggests that they are unable to cope with the suffering or other feelings that result from handling a problem. Your partner may not be sincere about the relationship if they are hesitant to seek help to better themselves and make it work.

He has a grudge against his ex.

You can be a rebound for your partner if they are still thinking about their ex. Does he continue to monitor his ex’s social media pages? Does he continue to bring her up? Do you think he concentrates on her while she’s around? You must let go of them if your partner has not yet moved on from his ex.

He is always the focus.

Is he the center of the relationship in every way? He gets to choose where the two of you eat, what works in the union, and always follows his wishes. You feel ignored and dissatisfied when it comes to your likes and desires, though. While you both acknowledge his successes, nobody ever acknowledges yours.
Instead of this companion, you could be his sidekick. He ignores your thoughts because he feels strong and in charge of the relationship. He doesn’t actually make you feel good; he just uses you to feel good.

Abandons you in favor of other people.

You may not be a priority in your man’s life if he can ignore you in favor use of his friends, family, or other plans. If he decides to cancel a plan that he had made with you, it signifies that you are the last person he is planning to see. In the event that his friends or family are busy, he can use you to avoid feeling lonely.

Your Family And Friends Don’t Like Him

We can’t always see the light because we are too near to the situation. Get the truthful opinions of your loved ones on the man you are seeing by asking them. When your spouse is mistreating you and the relationship is poisonous, they can tell. If your partner is unpopular with your family and friends, he might not be a suitable match for you.


Relationships that are not based on respect and affection for one another are useless. In a relationship, it’s important for both parties to feel as though they would be incomplete without the other. Discuss your worries and concerns with your partner. You must take a step back and reevaluate your relationship if your partner exhibits any indications that he is using you. If required, you could also think about getting help from a therapist or counselor. If you do not see a change in them, it is not advisable that you maintain this connection.