Getting marriage is a big deal. You have to be strong enough to handle such a strong lifelong relationship. You have to be understanding enough to understand the basic needs of your partner. The concept of marriage is based on the basic pillars such as trust, understanding, love, and honesty.
Some people actually go on dates and after a few weeks decided to get married while others may want to know their partner fully before committing their life to each other. Both the cases are fine. But the bottom line is you should fully understand each other’s needs and priorities to avoid future conflicts. And the easiest way to do that is to have a “talk” with your future spouse. You can ask the basic questions and see if your future goals are similar. If you guys are compatible enough and if you can stand with each other in the worst times.
Although some questions are pretty common to ask before marriage while there are other questions that are equally important and can play a bigger role in deciding whether you wanna marry that person or not. Some studies show that if you ask the right kind of questions before marriage you are eliminating the chances of getting a divorce in the future. Although people now days think the divorce is inevitable but that doesn’t mean it has to happen to you as well.
In order to build a strong relationship, you will have to clear your future intentions and know what your partner expects. Although it can be hard to know what questions to ask before marriage. That’s why we have prepared a list of a few questions to ask before marriage. Go on and take a look, the list might be helpful for those who are looking to get married and settling down.
- 1 Questions To Ask Before Marriage
- 1.1 1. Why do you want to get married?
- 1.2 2. What are your thoughts on having children?
- 1.3 3. What are your financial goals and how you are going to reach them?
- 1.4 4. What do you think about my family and do you have any issues?
- 1.5 5. How will we handle the rough patches and conflicts?
- 1.6 6. What are your thoughts on religion?
- 1.7 7. Are you in any debt?
- 1.8 8. What are your deal breakers?
- 1.9 9. How much alone time do you need?
- 1.10 10. How will we divide household chores?
- 1.11 11. Is there anything you are afraid to talk about?
- 1.12 12. Do you see your future with me?
- 1.13 13. Will our marriage be your first priority?
- 1.14 Conclusion:
Questions To Ask Before Marriage
1. Why do you want to get married?Some people just want to get married because they “have to” and it’s not a good reason. So you need to be sure that the person is fully prepared and mentally ready to get married and take the responsibilities of the married life.If they are struggling with coming up with an answer you might wanna skip all the other questions. These questions can help the people who are looking for “arrange marriage” (yes it’s still a thing in some societies).
2. What are your thoughts on having children?Children are reason couples get divorced these days as the couple has different views and they may or may not wanna start having children at a specific point of time. And the difference in opinion on this subject always ends up in divorce. So to avoid this conflict in the future you may wanna see whether they are ready to have children or not. And if their thinking matches yours.If their answer is yes and you too want to have children then the next question should consist of how you wanna raise them. This is also an important matter if you two belong to different religions and cultures.
3. What are your financial goals and how you are going to reach them?Money is the number one reason why relationships go through stress these days. In fact, it’s kinda the reason that leads to divorce as well. Since we all know financial security is pretty important and you need to know whether the person is financially independent or not and for that you do need to ask this question.Even if they are planning a business or something that requires a little bit of time to reach the place where they wanna be, you should be ensured that they have a solid plan for that. Furthermore, your focus shouldn’t be on what the other person earns but how they manage money and handle their expenses according to their incomes.
4. What do you think about my family and do you have any issues?It’s okay not like your spouse’s family entirely but if the person isn’t going to make an effort in establishing a relationship with your family, that’s where the trouble starts. You need to know whether they are compatible with your family as well. It doesn’t mean they have to like them 100% but they should at least get along.You can also share your thoughts about their families. The point is, you will have to accept that they are going to be apart of your life too and it’s important that you two acknowledge this fact and try to have a decent relationship with the in-laws.
5. How will we handle the rough patches and conflicts?There is no relationship that doesn’t go through rough patches and there is no couple who haven’t seen conflicts or experience the rough days. But the important thing is, how will you handle those conflicts? That should be your first concern. You need to see if the other person would be willing to work things out when there is a conflict among you two. Or they don’t have room for mistakes in their relationships. Just make sure you are marrying a person who is able to stick with you even in the hard times.
6. What are your thoughts on religion?Religion is one of the biggest parts of our lives and if you are someone who is from a particular religion and does not want them to interfere or you want them to be a part of all the rituals and customs you perform then make things clear in the start.Their views on religion can be important for your future relationship. It’s obvious that if thy cant respect your religion and culture just for the sake of you then there is no point in marrying them. You can also discuss what ceremony will be performed at your wedding and you will perform which religious marriage. (Nowadays you can actually have two ceremonies which represent both of your religion).
7. Are you in any debt?Again a financial related question but it’s pretty important because all of their debts will be your debts once you get married. If one of you has a big debt than it can affect your future financial matters and you might wanna think twice before investing in something. Also there are policies where you won’t get the loan if your partner is in big debt.
8. What are your deal breakers?Everyone has a deal-breaker. It may be about their religion, their family values, their career, or maybe about the way you behave in the relationship. It’s important to know what will be the bottom line for them and what is their priority and stuff.
9. How much alone time do you need?The question will directly reflect their nature and whether they are introverted or extroverted. It’s important to know how much alone time they will need and whether you are able to give them and vice versa. You also ask them if they are okay to be around your friends and going to your parties with you or they will simply wanna be around the people they actually know!
10. How will we divide household chores?Gone are the days when you would simply expect the woman to do all the household work. Both of them have to come together and divide your household work so you can easily manage your household chores without having conflicts. You can also discuss what will not be allowed, if you can stand the wet towels on the bed just tell them.
11. Is there anything you are afraid to talk about?There is no room for secrets in married life. So it will be nice if you two are aware of each other’s secrets and each other’s fears. So this question will indirectly indicate that you wanna know their secrets and they shouldn’t feel hesitant about that.
12. Do you see your future with me?There is no point in wasting each other’s time, so be straightforward and ask if they actually see a future with you.
13. Will our marriage be your first priority?If the marriage is important for you and you are going to put the needs of the relationship first then you might expect the same from them as well. So ask if they are willing to make sacrifices as much as you do and if the marriage as important for them as it is for you.
Conclusion:So these are the questions which can play an important role in your future married life. So don’t hesitate to ask these questions, after all, it’s the matter of your whole life. We hope the article has helped you to know which questions to ask before marriage and what you need to tell your would-be spouse about yourself.We hope you found the article helpful and got some more questions to ask. So thank you for visiting our page and keep coming for more such content.