125 Weird Things To Say To Girlfriend & Boyfriend 2023

If you are the weirdo of your group then you might as well start saying weird things as well. These weird things will make it question them as well as make them laugh at once. So go ahead and find some weird things to say.

Weird Things To Say

  • Start a group text with random phone numbers and start talking about a serious problem you have.
  • Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000.
  • When a friend suggests going for coffee, say “Don’t you know there’s a war on?”
  • When someone randomly changes the subject, shout, “He’s at it again!”
  • In the middle of a positive conversation, interject, “Now let’s talk about why I’m bitter.”
  • At the dinner table, when someone picks up a condiment, point at them and declare, “That is for members only.”
  • When someone asks you a serious question, ponder for a moment, then reply, “Cats don’t roller skate.”
  • The next time someone thanks you for something, say, “I’m going to hell so you don’t have to.”
  • If you butt dial a friend, send them a text that says, “That was your final warning.”
  • When someone says something negative about another person, nod thoughtfully and say, “He buttered his shoelaces upside down.”
  • In a grocery store, ask a stranger, “Do you know where I might find pickled pollywogs?”
  • When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, “You wouldn’t do that if you knew who I was.”
  • If you bump into someone or step on their foot, say, “I’m sorry. If I’d meant to do it, you’d know.”
  • “Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?”
  • “I’ll pay you £50 to shut up.”
  • “He’s literally worse than Hitler.”
  • “How would we ever know if we were a robot?”
  • “Swans are just female geese though, right?”
  • “This weekend, I’m just gonna sit round in my pants eating cheese.”
  • “It’s like Where’s Wally, but then I get to set you on fire.”

Weird things to say over text

Its pretty fun to say weird things over text to make them wonder and make them laugh or just start a conversation with them. So go ahead and take a look at these weird things to say over text.

  • “I need you to tell my husband that we were together last night… intimately.”
  • “I just get so existential around babies.”
  • “Yep well, apparently he accidentally cheated, so I have to forgive him.”
  • “Harry Potter or Gandalf?”
  • “My odds of winning the lotto are about the same as a Chihuahua pooping in my bag.”
  • “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, earth needs another Noah’s flood…”
  • “You and my wife could mud-wrestle naked.”
  • “Babies aren’t just for Christmas, you know.”
  • “It’s not wee, I promise.”
  • ‘I slept with my last 3 bosses you know.’
  • “Coding for email is like swimming in a vat of vinegar with paper cuts.”
  • “So many people poop their pants at concerts. They think it’s a secret to the world, but I know.”
  • “Do you think that dinosaurs had nipples?”
  • “But who actually came up with morality in the first place?”
  • “Waffles are pancakes with abs.”
  • “How much data can you store in an elephant?”
  • “Wow, I just way overblew my load!”
  • “Every time I walk by your desk, I look to see if you’re wearing my skirt.”
  • “How do you say the plural of a computer mouse? Is it mice?”
  • “Why isnt my mouse working – oh its not my mouse, its my sunglasses case”
  • “If bread was a vegetable, it’d be a potato.”
  • “Remember when I went a bit wild with that axe?”
  • “Sometimes I feel like stapling my hand might make this job a little bit more interesting.”
  • “Coconut shavings are the devil’s toenail clippings.”
  • “I dreamt about you last night. It didn’t end well for you. You died.”
  • “Yes, that’s a for armpit, r for rat, k for kraken…”
  • “Okay, who’s not afraid of fire?”
  • I want a piglet. But I’ll get rid of it when it’s a pig.”
  • “Anyone interested in a pile of bricks, it’s free on craigslist.”
  • “If I had a lightsaber, I would lightly saber you.”
  • “Can you show me how to open this banana?”
  • “So then I sat on him.”


These are the best weird things to say. I hope you guys like our collection of weird things to say. If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us.