We are very anxious and curious and look at each and every minor detail when we are in a beginning of a relationship. In many cases it continues with the relationship and it builds up an insecure feeling in us.
It leads to over thinking and much of a chaos in our relationship. Many a times it is one of the biggest reasons why a couple breaks up due to the unnecessary insecurity of the other. You must have realized it or maybe have looked at some of your friends that are dealing with it. The article can be a great help.
We have listed a number of ways that can help make you feel less insecure of your relationship.
- 1 How to deal with insecurities in a relationship
- 1.1 Do not beat around the bush converse clearly
- 1.2 Set some ground rules for both of you to follow
- 1.3 Make sure your partners know who they are with
- 1.4 Exercise
- 1.5 Do not make yourself dependent on them and be confident
- 1.6 Love them
- 1.7 Do not compare your relationship with other people’s relationships
- 1.8 The negative things that you think replace them with the positive thoughts
- 1.9 If you are feeling insecure do not hold yourself solely responsible for it
- 1.10 Give and have space
- 1.11 Conclusion:
How to deal with insecurities in a relationship
Do not beat around the bush converse clearly
Often we tend to give so called “hints” to our partners for them to understand what we are feeling at that moment of time. In spite of doing this we should talk to them freely about what is bothering us.
Same way if you are feeling insecure or something you should tell it to your partner and find out a solution for it. You should specify the things that are the reasons that made you feel insecure. After discussing them you will be able to find a solution and make sure that the things are not repeated.
This is a way mature way to deal with the problem that you are currently facing.
Set some ground rules for both of you to follow
Instead of fighting most of the times over petty things you can set some ground rules on how you can be around people and rules on the things that make you feel insecure.
Of course the rules should be mutual and not one sided then that would be not fair for the other. This has an additional advantage it can also help you see how much your partner is serious about you.
Make sure your partners know who they are with
Once in a while keep sharing how people treat you, how much they adore you and how much upset they were when they came to know that you are in a relationship and how you replied them. You can also say that you assured them that you are currently with the best person in your life.
It should not get converted to an unhealthy conversation between you two. It just should remain a friendly reminder and you giving them an idea about the competition that they might be having and the feeling of assurance about the way you feel.
This way you will make them feel loved also by sharing your feelings towards them and an idea about how people feel about you. This will also give you a sense of confidence and you might end up feeling good.
It can be of any form, be it yoga or going to a gym or you just stretching yourself up. Exercise is the best form to ease up your mind in the best positive ways possible.
It reduces stress; it releases all the happy hormones and makes you feel good and happy. It will help you remain calm and not think much resulting in the insecure feeling.
And it will enhance your outlooks making you feel confident and better than yesterday. It is also a very good way to work on yourself rather than paying attention to useless stuffs.
Do not make yourself dependent on them and be confident
Focus on making yourself better every day. Be it your outlooks or your inner self focus on them. Focus on learning something new every day, widening your imagination, knowing more than yesterday.
Do the things that you wanted to live your life, complete your unfinished poetry, look for a better job if you are not satisfied with the current one or if you are a student focus on your degree and achieving your dreams instead of paying unnecessary thoughts in your head about your relationship and making it toxic that can affect all these important things in your life.
Show how affectionate you are and how you feel about them. How much they affect you and how you cannot stop thinking about them. Tell them about the meal you prepared for them or the story you wrote for them or the gift that you have or a date night that you planned.
Hug them and say that you care about them. If they return the same kind of affection then it’s worth everything, if not then it’s time to move on.
Also the decision should not be based on one time thing a person can have a bad day. You need to see if there is a pattern if it is, do not be insecure and take the important decisions.
Do not compare your relationship with other people’s relationships
The way we ask our parents to not compare us with other children stating that we are unique and everything. Do not you think your partner would feel the same if you constantly keep comparing your relationship with others. Your relationship is also unique in ways don’t you think?
The way you address each other, the name as you have given to yourselves, the way you plan things, the way you sort things out, the way you play with each other and you can find the list does not end.
It is very bad to compare and may make your partner feel bad and may be making your relationship worse than ever. It also harms your mental health. No relationship is perfect. The others might have more problems than you but you do not know about them and maybe you are looking on just the happier side.
The negative things that you think replace them with the positive thoughts
It all depends on the brain. It might be the case that you live a very wonderful life and you have the best relationship but due to the negative thoughts everything is going in vain.
If you keep on thinking positively it will help you stay positive throughout the day and help you become a positive person. It will also help you in different prospects of life. It will help you look at the world through a different perspective.
If you are feeling insecure do not hold yourself solely responsible for it
It is completely okay to feel things. No one knows what you went through in the past and these feelings can be the outcomes of these.
It may be because your partner is repeating the patterns that your previous partners had done. In this case you need to talk to them may be they are not aware of this and they are doing it unknowingly.
But what you can do is let go of those emotional barriers. I know it can be tough. It is tough to over look all those things. But you gotta try. You need to overcome your weakness and insecurities and give a fair chance to your partner.
If they agree to fix this then hold on to them.
Give and have space
You cannot be angry over this if he or she asks for some space. You have spent all these years without them there are other things that they have to deal with while being with you. They need to socialize with their friends.
They need to enjoy the things that they love and you need to do the same. Give time to them. These things are very essential for a healthy life.
You cannot stretch this matter furthermore and start over thinking that he might be over some other girls and whatsoever. Try to understand them and make them understand you. Tell them your needs and let them tell you the same and decide accordingly.
It differs from person to person the way they feel things, the way they observe and the way they think. We should try to understand our partner as much as possible. We all have different expectations from our lives which gives us a different perspective to look at the world with. When we come into a relationship one feeling that everyone desires is peace and comfort and being understood by the person who we adore the most, which we look at and they make us smile.
It is the little things that make things special. Pay attention to what they do for you how much effort they give to make us smile.
Often we go to our friends to ask for relationship advice without giving them all the information and we let them judge our partner on the basis of those details and give us wrong advices. It is too deep if you look at it seriously.
The point is you are there, experiencing all the things, and you are sensible enough to differentiate the healthy and toxic things. Instead talk to your partner. Conversation is the key to any relationship. It is very important.
Do not make yourself unhappy. Focus on being happy no matter what, even if things go wrong.