Raising kids might be the biggest responsibility in the world. The parents do realize the pressure of Raising their kids right and handling them at their worst. The kids need our attention constantly and we need to treat them the right way so they would be decent human beings. Even though there are so many childhood issues that need to be addressed by the parents, one of the common issues faced by today’s parents is how to handle the ziddi child aka stubborn child.
While many parents back in their day had their own ways to handle the stubborn child, those tricks or ways may not be ideal at present. We not only need to address the stubbornness of the child but also have to go find the root cause of the stubbornness of the child. If you are a new parent and your child is being difficult and stubborn then you are not alone. This is the issue that every parent faces at least once in their parenting journey.
Before jumping to the ways to handle a stubborn child, let’s figure out what are the characteristics of a stubborn child and the psychology behind their stubbornness.
Here are some characteristics of a stubborn child:
Stubborn child needs to be heard and acknowledged, so they might appear attention seeker.
They would want to be fully independent and exercise their free will.
They would be very determined to do everything they like
They may throw tantrums and get angry when their needs or wants are not met
They can be bossy at times too (this features their leadership qualities)
Psychology of a Stubborn Child:
The children that appear stubborn are the ones that simply refuse to change one’s thoughts, behaviors, or actions regardless of the external pressure to do otherwise. This would also appear as a determination to do something or in a particular way.
It is said that stubbornness in children can be caused by genetics or acquired behaviors due to environmental factors.
So, to deal with a ziddi child, the parents would need to have some extra patience and put in extra effort because they would not only need to find a solution but also observe the child’s pattern and look at what is causing this behavior.
Here, we are listing out some of the ways to deal with a ziddi child, have a look at these;
Also check – How to deal with annoying brother / How to deal with fear
How To Deal With Ziddi Child (Stubborn Child)
1. Try to listenOne of the first things that you need to do while dealing with a stubborn child is to listen to them. If you impulsively act against the behaviors of your child then maybe you are no better than the child and it may cause some bigger problems in their behavior. So the first thing to do would be to communicate.You have to remember that communication is a two-way street. Instead of not listening to their reasoning, parents might just give them orders. This will make a stubborn child feel more unheard and misunderstood and you don’t want that.So give your child a chance to let them have an open conversation and listen to what they have to say and why they want to do certain things in some particular way or not do something at all.
2. Connect with them, don’t force themDon’t force your kids to do anything as they will only feel angrier and get more stubborn. Instead, try to connect with Your child and see what they think and what they like. It is a matter of counter will as you need to know their interests and their feelings for certain things.So sit with them and understand how they are feeling and why. You should show interest in their likes and dislikes too.
3. Give them optionsThis is one of the crucial factors while dealing with a ziddi child. Giving options to your child when they are throwing tantrums is one of the best ways to handle them. This will make them realize that they are being forced to or given the orders from their parents and will help them to feel like they have free will.If they say no to certain vegetables, you can give them two healthy options for meals. You can tell them either they can have lunch A or lunch B, both of the choices need to be suitable according to you. This way they would feel that they are making the choices and not the other way around.If the children still refuse to choose one of your options, you can ask them calmly that these are the only options there are, as many times as needed. Try not to give too many choices because that can backfire too.
4. Stay calmNo matter what the situation is, yelling at your child is not going to solve anything, instead, it will make things just worse. Some of the times if the parents are aggressive with their words it is more likely to make your child argue as they would get into verbal combat instead of listening to you.So instead of acting out irrationally, stay calm and relaxed while talking to your child no matter how hard they get. If you have trouble staying calm, you might want to look at yourself and check your behavior in front of your child. Try to meditate and exercise and don’t let the work or adulting stress be the reason behind your child’s stubbornness.
5. Respect themSometimes the best way to handle a kid is not to treat them like a kid. Your kids need to know that they are respected and heard by their parents. So you need to be respectful of your choices and what they have to say.One of the ways to show your respect to your child is to empathize with them, and never dismiss their feelings or ideas. Make sure you make a comfortable space for them to open up about anything and everything.
6. Be firm when it needs to beBeing a good parent doesn’t mean that you can’t say no to your kids. It is that you need to have some ground rules that can be broken no matter what.If you need a child to be disciplined, you need to have some ground rules, not just for the kids but for the whole house. Try to make the rules that are convenient for you and best for your child.You should also be consistent with the rules and not be lenient because that can send a wrong message. For example, if they can’t use the smartphone for more than 1 hour, try not to use the smartphone in front of them.
7. Put yourself in your child’s shoesThis simply means that you need to see things from your child’s perspective. This is the best way to understand their behavioral pattern and why they are behaving this way. You should acknowledge their needs and demands, and figure out why they are frequently saying no to these things. Just remember that they are a child after all and you need to be an adult and figure out what is causing this behavior.
8. Create a congenial environment at homeEverything starts from the home and the environment we are surrounded with. This means if you and your partners are having arguments every day or there is some kind of stress surrounding the child, they will tend to imitate these things. This will result in a stubborn child who argues all the time and doesn’t listen to anyone else.So make sure that you start giving some attention to the environment your child is in and first fix that.
9. Reinforce positive behaviorYou may not know what to do when your child is constantly saying no to everything and everyone. This may be because they have reinforced the negative behavior. This mostly happens when the parents start to act out irrationally and impulsively, as the child adapts. So if you tend to say no to everything, they might do the same.To reinforce positive behavior, you need to make your child say yes. So you can ask them things that can make them say yes more often. One of the best ways to do this is to play the “yes” game. In this game, you ask a child questions that they will only answer is yes. For example, you ask things such as, you love ice cream right? Do you like playing games? This will help your kid to say yes more often and be more positive.
10. Work on your negotiation skillsTo improve your communication with your child, you need to start practicing some negotiation skills. This means try to meet in the middle with your child when they are being irrational and making them agree to your terms. Learn how to say no without actually having to say no, or how to make your child agree to your terms.
ConclusionSo that is how you deal with a stubborn child or a ziddi child. There is a fine line between making your children feel what they are doing wrong and teaching them to be rational and just yelling at them for not listening to them.We have written this article from popular sources by some of the popular children’s experts. The aim of this article was also for the parents to understand the basic needs of a stubborn child and that they may not be as wrong as they seem to us.We hope this article was helpful for you and you got everything you have been looking for. Thank you.