How To Respond To An Apology When You’re Still Hurt 2023

Emotions are a big part of our life. We feel tons of emotions throughout our life. Sometimes we are happy and proud, other times we are sad and depressed. Sometimes the emotions are caused by us or some uncontrollable factor in our life. Other times we feel betrayed by our loved ones and close ones. Well, one such feeling would be being hurt by someone you are close to.

We all get hurt by someone we love at least once in our life or even more. But sometimes things work out other times it doesn’t. There are times when you have to be the bigger person and forgive the person who hurt you if they ask for forgiveness sincerely. It may be easier to apologize but it will certainly take a lot of effort to respond to an apology. It will be even harder to forgive someone if you are still hurt.

There are many times when you will find it hard while respond to an apology especially when you are still. This happens to all of us and it is a difficult spot to be in.

Well, we are here to help you out. In this article, we are suggesting some ways to respond when someone apologizes and when you are still hurt. Go ahead and have a look at the following ways and see if you find them helpful.

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1. Acknowledge the pain that they have caused you

You can’t forgive someone by denying your pain. If you have got hurt by someone you were close with then you should acknowledge the pain that they have caused you. Make sure to address your pain and your feelings before you can move forward.

2. Ask for time

If you are still hurt then you can simply say that you need more time before you can forgive them fully. This will make them understand that you need more space before you can fully forgive them and move on.

3. Hear their apology

Sometimes when we are hurt we don’t want to hear anything from the person who has hurt us.

This can cause a lot of tension between the two people. What you need to do before you decide to forgive them or not forgive them is to listen to their apology.

How they apologize means a lot. You would certainly know about their feelings too and might know their side of the story. This can make it easier to forgive them and move past it.

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4. Be Honest with Them

If someone is asking for your forgiveness you should be able, to be honest with them rather than pretending to be okay.

So if you are not ready to forgive, be direct about it and honestly tell them that you are not ready to forgive them and it is going to take much more time.

5. Tell them what you are feeling

Sometimes the best you can do to make them understand how much pain and hurt they have caused you is to tell them. It will be far easier than not talking about it ever again. You would want them to know how much you suffered because of them.

It is always better to express what you are feeling rather than not facing them ever. It will be better for both parties. So if you can, calmly discuss your feelings and tell them how to hurt you are.

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6. You can say “it wasn’t okay”

Most people do say it’s okay to move forward. This won’t do any good in the long term especially if you are going to see that person. So make sure that you don’t say it’s okay when it’s not. This will harm both of you in the long run and it is going to come back.

7. Be calm

Lashing out or yelling at them will only make things worse. This is why if you are getting an apology from someone you care about then you would have to stay calm. This will make things a lot easier and you would be able to have clear communication.

8. Thank them for offering an apology

Whether you want to forgive them or not is your choice but you might want to thank them for offering you an apology.

You can say that you are not ready to forgive them but you appreciate their apology. This will most certainly ease the situation between you two.

9. Try to get over your negative feelings

Forgiving them would do a lot good for you than for them. When we forgive someone we also set ourselves free of the burden or baggage of hurt. That is why people say you need to forgive more and more, even when you haven’t received an apology.

The first step to moving forward from the heart would be to get over your negative feelings and try to understand that you are not going to feel this way forever. Focus on the good thing and process all the negative that have happened to you. This will most certainly help you to get over your negative feelings and you would be able to forgive them.

10. Know that you don’t need to forgive them or have them in your life

It’s okay not to forgive them when the wound is still fresh in your memory. If you do decide to forgive them and still feel hurt then you can simply state your boundaries with that person and ask them not to be a part of their lives. There are no rules for forgiving someone and these things do take time.


So these are some of the best responses to an apology when you are still hurt. We have listed some of the things that can make you think clearer and you will find it easier to move forward. These tips are given by psychologists and therapists, so these should be helpful.

That would be all for now and we hope you liked our article and found it helpful. Make sure to check other articles on our website that you might find useful.