Emotions play a big role in our lives. We experience a wide range of feelings, from happiness and pride to sadness and depression. Sometimes our emotions are within our control, while other times they’re influenced by external factors or even by the actions of those close to us.
Feeling hurt by someone we care about is something most of us go through at least once. It’s tough, and sometimes things get resolved, but other times they don’t. There are moments when we need to be the bigger person and forgive someone who hurt us if they genuinely ask for forgiveness. While saying sorry might be easy, responding to an apology can be a challenge, especially if the hurt is still fresh.
It’s common to find it difficult to respond to an apology when you’re still hurting. This is a tough situation that many of us face.
But don’t worry, we’re here to help! In this article, we’ll suggest some ways to respond when someone apologizes, even when you’re still hurting. Take a look at these suggestions and see if they can be of help to you.
Contents
- 1 1. Acknowledge the pain that they have caused you
- 2 2. Ask for time
- 3 3. Hear their apology
- 4 4. Be Honest with Them
- 5 5. Tell them what you are feeling
- 6 6. You can say “it wasn’t okay”
- 7 7. Be calm
- 8 8. Thank them for offering an apology
- 9 9. Try to get over your negative feelings
- 10 10. Know that you don’t need to forgive them or have them in your life
- 11 Conclusion
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1. Acknowledge the pain that they have caused you
You can’t forgive someone by denying your pain. If you have got hurt by someone you were close with then you should acknowledge the pain that they have caused you. Make sure to address your pain and your feelings before you can move forward.
2. Ask for time
If you are still hurt then you can simply say that you need more time before you can forgive them fully. This will make them understand that you need more space before you can fully forgive them and move on.
3. Hear their apology
Sometimes when we are hurt we don’t want to hear anything from the person who has hurt us.
This can cause a lot of tension between the two people. What you need to do before you decide to forgive them or not forgive them is to listen to their apology.
How they apologize means a lot. You would certainly know about their feelings too and might know their side of the story. This can make it easier to forgive them and move past it.
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4. Be Honest with Them
If someone is asking for your forgiveness you should be able, to be honest with them rather than pretending to be okay.
So if you are not ready to forgive, be direct about it and honestly tell them that you are not ready to forgive them and it is going to take much more time.
5. Tell them what you are feeling
Sometimes the best you can do to make them understand how much pain and hurt they have caused you is to tell them. It will be far easier than not talking about it ever again. You would want them to know how much you suffered because of them.
It is always better to express what you are feeling rather than not facing them ever. It will be better for both parties. So if you can, calmly discuss your feelings and tell them how to hurt you are.
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6. You can say “it wasn’t okay”
Most people do say it’s okay to move forward. This won’t do any good in the long term especially if you are going to see that person. So make sure that you don’t say it’s okay when it’s not. This will harm both of you in the long run and it is going to come back.
7. Be calm
Lashing out or yelling at them will only make things worse. This is why if you are getting an apology from someone you care about then you would have to stay calm. This will make things a lot easier and you would be able to have clear communication.
8. Thank them for offering an apology
Whether you want to forgive them or not is your choice but you might want to thank them for offering you an apology.
You can say that you are not ready to forgive them but you appreciate their apology. This will most certainly ease the situation between you two.
9. Try to get over your negative feelings
Forgiving them would do a lot good for you than for them. When we forgive someone we also set ourselves free of the burden or baggage of hurt. That is why people say you need to forgive more and more, even when you haven’t received an apology.
The first step to moving forward from the heart would be to get over your negative feelings and try to understand that you are not going to feel this way forever. Focus on the good thing and process all the negative that have happened to you. This will most certainly help you to get over your negative feelings and you would be able to forgive them.
10. Know that you don’t need to forgive them or have them in your life
It’s okay not to forgive them when the wound is still fresh in your memory. If you do decide to forgive them and still feel hurt then you can simply state your boundaries with that person and ask them not to be a part of their lives. There are no rules for forgiving someone and these things do take time.
Conclusion
Here are some of the best ways to respond to an apology when you’re still hurting. We’ve listed some strategies to help you think more clearly and move forward. These tips come from psychologists and therapists, so they should be really helpful.
That’s all for now! We hope you enjoyed our article and found it helpful. Be sure to check out other articles on our website that you might find useful.