Tagalog is one of the most twisted languages that we know of. The language has been originated in the Philippines and it has said to be influenced by Chinese, Spanish, English, Sanskrit, and Tamil. As we said, twisted! People love this language and more and more wanna learn this language as well. Although it’s not going to be that easy. If you are currently learning this language, you already know what we are talking about.
Let’s just get to the point. We are here to help you out. Apart from your regular learning course, you would have to practice as well. Because the more you practice, the better you learn. Like we said earlier, we are here to help. Since you are here, we can assume that you have been looking for some Tagalog questions which would help you to learn better.
So here we have a list of Tagalog questions that you might wanna take a look at. Try to answer these questions and keep your practice up.
Contents
- 1 Tagalog Jokes Questions And Answers
- 2 Comedy Jokes Tagalog
- 3 Jokes tagalog
- 4 Tagalog Jokes
- 5 Tagalog Jokes To Make Her Laugh
- 6 Knock knock Jokes Tagalog
- 7 Logic Questions Tagalog Jokes
- 8 Pinoy Jokes
- 9 Tagalog Jokes Kids
- 10 Pinoy Jokes Lines
- 11 Tagalog Jokes Logic
- 12 Potato jokes tagalog
- 13 One liner jokes tagalog
- 14 Knock knock jokes
- 15 Funny knock knock jokes
Also Check- Fast talk questions / best questions meme
Tagalog Jokes Questions And Answers
Question: Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?
Answer: Baliw! XD
Q: Bakit maswerte ang kalendaryo?
A: Dahil marami siyang date.
Q: Bakit malungkot ang kalendaryo?
A: Kasi bilang na ang araw niya.
Q: Anong puno ang hindi pwedeng akyatin?
A: eh di yung nakatumba!
Q: Ano ang similarity ang UTOT at TULA?
A: Pareho silang nagmula sa POET.
Q: Ano ang pwede mong gawin sa GABI na hindi mo pwedeng gawin sa UMAGA?
A: eh di MAGPUYAT.
Q: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng Biology at Sociology?
A: ‘Pag ang sanggol kamukha ng tatay Biology yun, Pag kamukha naman ng kapitbahay ninyo ang sanggol, sociology yun.
Q: May tatlong lalake ang tumalon sa tubig, ilan ang nabasa ang buhok?
A: eh di..,,wala kalbo silang lahat eh..,,ngeekkkk..!!!
Q: Ano ang maraming sakay jeepney o ambulansya?
A: Syempre ang ambulansya! Kasi, ang jeepney ay 10-10 lang ang bawat side; samantalang sa ambulansya, madalas na 50-50 ang sakay.
Q: Bakit gising magdamag ang mga bampira?
A: Kasi nag-aaral sila para sa kanilang blood test!
Q: Ano ang makukuha mo sa baboy na magaling mag karate?
A: Eh di PORK CHOP!
Q: Bakit kailangang lagyan ng gulong ang rocking chair ni lola?
A: Para makapag-rock and roll siya!
Q: Ano ang binibigay ng doctor sa ibon na may sakit?
A: Eh di TWEETMENT!
Q: Ano ang mas nakakadiri sa uod na nakita mo sa iyong prutas?
A; Eh di yung kalahating uod nalang! pwe! pwe!pwe!
Q: Ano ang tawag ng batang langgam sa sister ng mother niya?
A: Eh di ANTY!
Q: Anong bagay ang nagsisimula sa T at nagtatapos sa T at may T rin sa loob?
A: eh di TEAPOT!
Q: Ano ang pinakatamad na letter sa English alphabet?
A: Letter E, kasi laging nasa BED eh!
Q: Ano ang mangyayari kapag nahulog mo ang isang pulang sumbrero sa asul na dagat?
A: Eh di mababasa yung sumbrero!
Q: Paano mo hahatiin sa dalawa ang dagat?
A: Gagamit ng SEASAW!
Q: Saan nagpapagupit ang mga tupa?
A: Eh di baa-baa shop!
Q: Ano ang pinakamataas na building sa buong mundo?
A: Eh di yung library, kasi maraming STORIES doon!
Q: Anong room ang walang ding-ding at pinto?
A: Eh di MUSHROOM!
Q; Ano ang gamot sa mga sugat ng balat ng baboy?
A: Eh di OINKMENT!
Q: Bakit madaling timbangin ang mga isda?
A: Kasi may sarili silang SCALES!
Q; Ano ang paboritong palaman sa tinapay ng astronaut?
A: Eh di LAUNCHEON meat!
Q: Ano ang tawag sa kotse ni Jollibee?
A: Eh di BEE-M-W!
Q: Ano ang karaniwang sakit ng mga martial arts champion?
A: Eh di KUNG FLU!
Q: Saan nagdedeposito ang mga bampira?
A: Eh di BLOOD BANK!
Q: Ano ang kinakain ng mga pusa tuwing umaga?
A: Eh di MICE KRISPIES!
Q: Saan iniiwan ng mga aso ang kotse nila?
A: Eh di BARKING LOT!
Q: Anong gulay ang marunong maglaro ng billiards?
A; Eh di CUE-CUMBER!
Q: Anong TV show ang pinapanood ng mga bibi?
A; Eh di DUCKUMENTARIES!
Q: Ano ang favorite sport ni Dracula?
A: Eh di BAT-MINTON!
Q: Anong ring ang pa-kwadrado?
A: Eh di BOXING RING!
Q: Sino ang misis ni NOah?
A: Eh di JOAN OF ARC!
Q: Anong key ang nakakabukas ng saging?
A; Eh di MONKEY!
Q: Ano ang paboritong palaman ng MMDA?
A: Eh di TRAFFIC JAM!
Also check – logical questions / California trivia
Comedy Jokes Tagalog
Teacher: Class iagine niyo na kayo ay Milyunaryo, isulat niyo sa papel ang inyong mga activities.
Students: Yes Ma’am…
Teacher: Juan bakit hindi ka pa nagsusulat?
Juan: Ma’am inaantay ko pa po ang secretary ko.
Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?
Sir: What are my choices?
Stewardess: Yes or No.
Meet-Up: Nakita ng lalake na may tinga yung babae…
Lalake: Hulaan ko malunggay yung ulam mo nung tanghalian noh?
Babae: Hahaha. Sorry pero mali ka. Kagabi pa yung tinolang may malunggay, piniritong manok ulam ko kanina.
Teacher: Juan! Your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy this?!
Juan: No mam.. It’s the same dog.
Jun-Jun: Inay! Ako lang ang nakasagot sa tanong ng titser namin kanina!
Inay: Very good! Ano ba ang tanong ng titser ninyo?
Jun-Jun: “Sino ang walang assignment?”
Jokes tagalog
Employee: Boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun sa pwesto ng manager natin na kamamatay lang?
Boss: Ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung papayag ang punerarya.
Titser:Class, what is ETHICS?
Pilo:Etiks are smaller than ducks.
Titser: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.
Misis: Bakit ngayon ka lang?
Mister: Pasensha na, nagyaya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang. Hehe! Hik,
Misis: Lasing ka no?
Mister: Ako, lashing? Hindi! Hik
Misis: Anong hindi?! La ka namang trabaho, pano ka nagka-officemates?
Misis: Love, malapit na tayong maging tatlo dito sa bahay.
Mister: Talaga love? Magiging daddy na ako?
Misis: Hindi love, dito na titira nanay ko.
Tagalog Jokes
Toto: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!
Juvy: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
Toto: Hindi! ‘Yan din ang pangarap niya!
BF: Babe laro kami mamaya basketball ha? Saglit lang kami uwi agad ako.
GF: Ano oras ka uuwi?
BF: Saktong 5pm babe.
GF: Ah good. Sang lugar un?
BF: Lapit lang sa work namin babe.
GF: Ahh ok. Sino sino kayo?
BF: Kami parin mga tropa babe. Nagkayayaan kasi eh. Dyan lang sa court ng school.
GF: Ah lapit lang pala e.
BF: Oo babe. Laro ako ha?
GF: HINDI.
Reporter: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo?
Police: DNA na…
Reporter: Sir, ano po yung DNA?
Police: “Di Namin Alam”
Misis: Walang hiya ka. Meron akong nabalitaan! May kabit ka palang 18 years old.
Mister: Sus! Huli ka na sa balita! 23 na sya ngayon.
Good News: Nakuha kang model ng sabon.
Bad News: Ikaw yung germs!
Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya
Man2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical
Man1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!”
Tagalog Jokes To Make Her Laugh
Question: Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka.
Answer: Operadang bakla? XD
Question: Sino ang sikat na bayani ang nasa Php500 bill? Ang initials niya as “N.A”?.
Answer: Nora Aunor? XD
Question: Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?
Answer: Itlog ng tao! XD
Question: Anong parte ng itlog ang masarap?
Answer: Yung tangkay? XD
Question: Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain.
Answer: T@e! XD
Question: Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?
Answer: Buhok? XD
Question: Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?
Answer: Cold water! XD
Question: Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?
Answer: Sunog! XD
Question: Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao?
Answer: Humanitarian? XD
Question: Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?
Answer: Baby oil? XD
Question: Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?
Answer: Sa motel? XD
Question: Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?
Answer: Sweetserland? XXD
Question: Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?
Answer: Si scooby dooby doo? XD
Also check – Children’s trivia questions / Color trivia questions
Knock knock Jokes Tagalog
Knock knock
Whos there?
Chandelier
Chandelier who
Kahit chandelier pag-ibig mo sana’y maramdam man lang (kahit sandali)
Knock knock
Whos there?
Chandelier
Chandelier who?
Chandelier na lang maari bang pagbigyan. (Torete intro)
Knock knock
Whos there?
Mayon
Mayon who
When tomorrow comes I’ll be on MAYON
Knock knock
Whos there?
Pillow talk (zayn malik)
Pillow talk who?
Ako ay may lobo lumipad sa langit di ko na nakit PILLOW TALK na pala.
Knock knock
Whos there?
Dog cat binaliktad kinurot pa bernadette jansport
Blablabla who?
Whatchu gonna do with that dessert? Dog cat binaliktad kinurot pa bernadette bernadette jansport jansport
Knock knock
Whos there?
Cabalen
Cabalen who
Cabalen bilinan ng lola wag uminom ng serbesa
Knock knock
Whos there?
Matulungin
Matulungin who?
Matulungin when you nod your head yes but you wanna say no
Knock knock
Whos there
Maling
Maling who
Start twerking like maling
Knock knock
Whos there
Meatloaf
Meatloaf who
Sa yong ngiti akoy nahuhu MALING
Knock knock
Whos there?
UST
UST who?
UST call me on my cellphone late night when you need my love
Knock knock
Whos there?
Amalayer
Amalayer who?
But darling AMALAYER dressed like a daydream
Knock knock
Whos there?
This guy’s in love with you pare
If ever your in my arms again, this guy’s in love with you pare
Knock knock
Whos there?
My thoughts
My thoughts who?
My thoughts.. my knees.. my shoulder.. my head.
Knock knock
Whos there?
Angono
Angono who?
Angono swing from the chandelieeeeeer
Knock knock
Whos there?
Silver swan
Silver swan who
My mama dont like you, she likes silver swan
Knock knock
Whos there?
Nanay ni wally
Nanay ni wally who?
Nanay ni wally na ko sa forever.
Knock knock
Whos there?
Nae nae
Nae nae who
nae nae tatay gusto ko tinapay ate kuya gusto ko kape
Knock knock
Whos there?
Bwisit to!
Bwisit to! Who
Bwisit to! Late now to say sorry
Knock knock
Whos there?
Yemen
Yemen who
What do yemen when you nod your head yes but you wanna say no
Knock knock
Whos there?
Winnie the Pooh
winnie the pooh who?
Bang bang winnie the pooh i know you want it
Knock knock
Whos there?
Gangbang who
Gangbang into the room i know you want it lol SPG
Knock knock
Whos there?
ginabi sa road
Ginabi sa road who?
why you ginabi sa road? Dont you know im human too.
Knock knock
Whos there?
pekpek
Pekpek who
You look so pekpek standing there in my american apparel underwear hhahaha mukhang pekpek ampota
Knock knock
Whos there?
Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise who?
My toes, mayonnaise, my shoulder, my head hahahaha okey
Knock knock
Whos there?
Napakakati
Napakakati who?
Napakakati kuya eddie ang sinapit ng aking buhay. Lolszz
Knock knock
Whos there?
lyca
Lyca who?
Lyca virgin touched for the very first time hihihi
Knock knock
Whos there?
Neighbor
Neighbor who?
Neighbor mind i,ll find someone like youuu
Knock knoc
Whos there?
rude
Rude who
Ruuuude, patawad pagkat akoy makasalanan makasalanang nilalang
Knock knock
Whos there?
Na h
Nacho who?
Nacho! Gwapito raw ako
Knock knock
Whos there
DOTA 2
DOTA 2 who?
Can I have your DOTA 2 the rest of my life. Say yes, say yes cause I need to know.
Knock knock
Whos there?
Ke$ha
Ke$ha who?
La-Ke$ha layaw, la-Ke$ha layaw jeproks
Knock knock
Who’s there?
jollibee
jollibee who
why you jollibee so rude? Dont you know im human too
Knock knock
Whos there?
shes dating a gangster
Shes dating a gangster who?
shes dating a gangster thats under my bed. get along with the voices inside of my head
Knock knock
Whos there
Tokneneng
Tokneneng who?
Tokneneng to me tururuttuturururut
Knock knock
who’s there?
lampara
lampara who?
Kaibigan LAMPARA… Kaibigan LAMPARA..
Knock knock
who’s there?
Youjizz
Youjizz who?
Now Youjizz somebody that I used to know.
Knock knock
who’s there?
Nawindang
nawindang who?
It’s nawindang, I’m yelling timbeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.
Knock knock
who’s there?
Samsung
Samsung who?
Samsung mga daliri kamay at paa LOL
Also check – Gravity falls trivia questions / Nascar trivia questions
Logic Questions Tagalog Jokes
Basag
“You are good looking!”
It’s good to answer with,
“Thank you, SANA IKAW DIN!”
Tama ba?
Foodcourt
Girl1: nag-dinner kami ng bf ko kagabi, grabe! na-impressed ako! Ang laki ng resto at ang dami pang choices.
Girl2: talaga?! Ano pangalan ng resto?
Girl1: Foodcourt!
Baliw
Baliw: Hello, check ko lang po kung may tao pa sa room 206?
Nurse: Ah, wala na po kaninang hapon pa. Bakit po?
Baliw: Uhm… wala naman, chinicheck ko lang yung nakatakas talaga ako….
Sam and Piolo
Piolo: i just need 5 things in my life…some friends.. some food.. some work.. some love.. and Some Milby..hehe ü
Sabi nmn ni Sam: i just need 5 things in life too..few work.. few friends.. few food.. few love.. and few-lo pascual!! wahaha!
3 Basis of Choosing a Girlfriend:
1.) MABAIT
*Hindi nagagalit kapag nanananTsing ka
2.) MAHIYAIN
*Hindi tumatanggap ng regalo.
3.) ISIP BATA
Kung anu-ano sinusubo
Erap Jokes
JUDGE:Ano ba talaga nangyari?
ERAP: ???(di nagsasalita)
JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.
ERAP:Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to? Bakit may speaking?
Kandong
Dahil sa hirap ng buhay,
Pasahero: Mamang tsuper, may bayad po ba kapag bata?
Driver: Wala
pasahero: Kapag kandong?
Driver: wala din
Pasahero: ok anak umupo kana kakandong ako.
Doktor
ANAK: Itay, masama ang pakiramdam ko.
ITAY: Aba, mataas ang lagnat mo! Patitingnan kita sa doktor.
ANAK: Itay, nakatatamad. Kung titingnan lang niya ako; ipadala nyo na lang ang litrato ko.
Erap: Magkano ba yan?
Tindera: 100 pesos lang
Erap: Aba mura, sige bibili ako para sa computer ko.
Tindera: Bakit para sa computer nyo?
Erap: Bakit may windows din naman yon ah!
Calculator
Anak: tay, anu poh yung elevator?
Tatay: anak, yung elevetor, kahon yun na tumataas at bumababa sa isang building
Anak: Ah! eh yung escalator tay?
Tatay: anak, yung escalator, yan yung slant na galaw na hagdan….
Anak: ah! eh yung calculator?
Tatay: ewan ko anak, di pa ako nakasakay niyan..
(Usapan ng dalawang bata)
Juan: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo ba yung Pacific Ocean? siya ang humukay nun!
Pedro: Wala ‘yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo yung Dead Sea?
Juan: Oo…
pedro: Siya ang pumatay nun!
Victim
Judge: Miss ilang beses ka ba ni-rape nitong akusado?
Rape Victim:Tatlong beses po!
Rapist: Sinungaling, Dalawang beses lang.
Rape Victim: Bakit, di ba Counted yung nasa Ibabaw ako?
(Nasa elevator ka with your crush)
Eh that time sinisipon ka
suddenly!
Napautot crush mo
Natawa ka! Lumobo sipon mo
Sino mas nakakahiya? Ikaw o siya?
Pinoy Jokes
Anong bansa ang walang pangit? UGANDA
Anong bansa ang di sikat? LAOS
Anong bansa ang madulas? GREECE
Anong bansa ang hindi sa iyo? KENYA
Anong bansa ang nakagapos? ITALY
Anong bansa ang maraming bacteria? GERM-ANY
Anong bansa ang nagmamadali? RUSSIA
Learn Japanese:
1) Is this your underwear? Jakimoto
2) Speechless? Wasabi
3) What are your thoughts? kuro-kuro mo
4) Are you regular customer? Sukikaba
Wife: Gusto kong magpadagdag ng boobs…….
Husband: Ha….. di ba masagwa yon, magiging tatlo.
Mga lasa ng gatas ng babae:
Dalagita: Fresh milk
Dalaga:Pasteurized
Bagong kasal: Skimmed
Matagal ng kasal: Yogurt
Matandang dalaga: Taho
Lola: Tokwa
Nag-aaway ang dalawang tanga:
Kulas: Ano ba ang gusto mo? away o gulo
Tomas: Away na lang para walang gulo.
Tomas: Ano ang ingles ang “Maswerte akong lalaki?”
Susan: Lucky Me with Egg.
Tomas: Eh, iyong “matronang babae?”
Susan: Payless instant mommy.
I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with a cute angel,
my angel was ugly, tampo ‘ko. I ask St. Peter why cute angel mo. he replied,
” Balance of Nature”.
A husband coming home from a confession, suddenly he lifted his
wife and carried her.
Wife: Why did the priest tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross!
If only I’m an angel, I’ll protect you, I’ll lend you my wings. I’ll
watch over you but I’m not an angel………… pero may hawig naman……..,’DI
BA ?!?
With this message I would like to thank you for being such a nice
friend to me…. I really appreciate your goodness and truthfulness, especially
when you confirmed my…. CUTENESS !.
Teacher : Use DOES and AMONG in the sentence.
Peter : AMONG the birds, only parrot DOES talk.
Teacher : Very good. Ikaw John.
John : When the cow
DOESmag na AMONG ang lubi.
A girl with her friends
went to a bar.
When she read the sign
saying : BELOW 18 NOT ALLOWED
The girl said : “nge” !!!
uli na lang ta oy…. 10 ra man ta
kabuok…
American and a Filipino conversation.
American: Is that an apple you are eating?
Filipino: Yes.
American: You know in States only poor people eat an apple.
Filipino: Oh, is that true? Is that a banana you are eating?
American: Yes.
Filipino: You know, in Philippines, only monkeys eat banana.
Beauty Pageant:
Judge: What if you find that your boyfriend has AIDS, what will you do and why?
Contestant: I’ll still love him..
(everybody claps)
“coz, AIDS doesn’t matter!,
thank you”.
A Chinese lady can’t
speak English. At the grocery, she wanted to buy pork leg, she showed her legs. Next day, she needed chicken breast, she showed her breast. On the third day, she brought along her husband because she wanted sausage. What did she do?
Oh, dirty-minded!
Her husband can speak English!!!.
Teacher: Arnold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking even when people are no longer interested??
Arnold: A teacher!!!
Wonder girls may say, “I want nobody, nobody but you..”
Then, the boys will reply, “I want your body, your body not YOU!!!”
True bravery is to arrive home..
fully drunk from late night out and mom waiting with a broom in hand, then you asked:
“Hey mom, still cleaning?”
Woman with a baby on a bus..
Driver: what an ugly baby!
The mother was hurt, she went to another seat.
The man next to her asked, “What’s wrong?” Woman: The driver just insulted me.
Man: He should give you respect! Go get his name and I.D. number. I’ll hold your MONKEY for you! (LOL)
Tagalog Jokes Kids
Teacher: Write a sentence ending with HAND.
Juan: My penis in ur hand!
Teacher slapped juan…
Juan: Sorry I forgot to put space between pen and is…^_^
Titser: Ano ang Pambansang Hayop ng Pilipinas? Nagsisimula ito sa letrang “K”!
Juan: Kabayo?
Titser: Mali! Nagtatapos ito sa letrang “W”!
Juan: Kabayow?
Titser: Mali! May 2 sungay ito!
Juan: demonyong kabayow? Hahahah
Teacher: Juan, ba’t lagi mong nilalawayan ang ulo mo tuwing may klase tayo?
Juan: Narinig ko po kasi, sabi ni ate sa boyfriend niya, basain ng laway ang ulo ‘pag ayaw pumasok.
Mayabang si Pedro
Teacher: Ito na ang resulta ng exam nyo. Si Boy Banat lang nakakuha ng 97%.
Pedro: Ano ha?! Kaya nyo yon?! Wala pang aral yon! Sinasayang nyo lang tuition nyo! Umuwi na kayo mga bubu!!
Teacher: The rest, nakakuha ng 100% !! hahahahaha
sa isang Math class..
Teacher: Pedro, kung ako’y may 5 anak sa unang asawa, 10 naman sa pangalawa, at 3 sa pangatlo; meron akong?
Pedro: Kalandian! Isa kang karengkeng Ma’am.
Teacher asks her pupils what they want to be in the future…
Kiko: I want to be a lawyer
Juan: I want to be a doctor
Nene: I want to be a mother
Pedro: I want to help Nene
Guro: Pedro, Totoo bang hindi naninigarilyo, di umiinom. di nagsusugal at di nangchichicks ang papa mo?
Pedrol: Opo!
Pedro: Wow! Anong sikreto nya?
Pedro: walang pera
Teacher: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?
Pupil: my titser is beautiful, isn’t she?
Teacher:: very good, translate it in tagalog.
Pupil: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?
HRM at NURSING Student nag-uusap:
HRM:Penge nga alcohol!!
NURSE:La akong alcohol eh.. sori
HRM:Naturingan kang nursing student, la kang alcohol!
NURSE:Cge nga.pengeng kaldero at sandok!Now n!May dala kb?!
“The prefix “BI” is used to describe things that come in two’s like BIcycle, BIfocal,
and BInary. Can you give me an example Juan?”
JUAN: (lunok) “Ma’am.. B*YAG?”
Pinoy Jokes Lines
Q: Ano ang sabi ng isda nang hiwain siya sa gitna?
A: eh di I’m tuna (two na).
Q: Ano ang sabi ng bangus nang mamamatay na siya?
A: eh di I’m daing! (Dying)
Q: Anong isda ang di nababasa?
A: eh di Tuyo!!
Q: Anong isda ang pinaka matanda?
A: eh di Century Tuna!!
Q: San nagtatrabaho ang mga isda?!!
A: eh di ofFISH!! (office)
Q: Anong isda ang nakakasulat?!!!
A: eh di laFISH!! (lapis)
Q: Anong subject ang paborito ng mga fish?
A: eh di FISHical Education (Physical Education)
Q: Ano ang tawag sa doctor ng mga fish?
A: eh di FISHician (Physician)
Q: Anong Isda ang bumabaril?
A: eh di BANGus!!!
Q: Bakit maalat ang dagat?
A: Para hindi mapanis ang mga isda..
Q: Anong isda ang mahilig mangbola?
A: eh di Fish ball
Q: Anong fish ang di makapal?
A: eh di ManiFISH
Q: Anong isda ang nakalutang sa tubig?
A: eh di patay na isda.
Q: Saang subject, palaging bumabagsak ang mga isda?
A: eh di FISHsics (Physics)
Q: Anong fish ang may lahing insecto?
A: eh di i-FISH (Ipis)
Q: Anong buwan ang fiesta ng mga fish?
A: eh di May 1, kasi FISH-tang Dagat.
Q: Sinong fish ang pumapalit pag wala ang Boss?
A: eh di Ang o-FISH-er in charge
Q: Saang bansa ang paboritong pasyalan ng mga fish?
A: eh di FIN-land
Q: Bakit pumupunta ang mga fish sa pari?
A: eh di Para magkum-FISH-al
Q: Anong tawag sa fish na peke?
A: eh di Arti-FISH-al
Tagalog Jokes Logic
What is the one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth? What is it?
Ans. The Word “And”
What letter comes next: O T T F F S S ?
Ans. The letter E
What common English verb becomes its own past tence by rearranging its letters?
Ans. Eat
If you have a cube, each edge two inches long, how many total square inches are there among all eight sides?
Ans. Hard to say, since cubes have six sides.
Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.
Ans. Language
It occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in an hour.
Ans. The letter M
Is it correct to say “the yolk of eggs is white” or “the yolk of eggs are white”?
Ans. Neither, the yolk of eggs are yellow.
Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
Ans. No, because he’s dead
If a rooster lays an egg on the exact peak of a barn, which side does it fall?
Ans. Roosters don’t lay eggs.
There’s a variation that goes as follows: A man, his wife, and their son are in a car accident. They are all rushed to the hospital and the doctor says, “I can’t operate on him, he’s my son.”
Ans. The doctor is the man’s father and the boy’s grandfather.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday. He stays three days, then rides out of town on Friday. How?
Ans. The horse’s name was Friday
When is a door not a door?
Ans. When it’s ajar
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ans. To get to the other side
Potato jokes tagalog
Pedro: Mam ano tawag sa puting gulay ? Guro: Ano ? Pedro: Putito po mam. Eh ung mas maputi sa putito ? Guro: Ano naman yan ? Pedro: Mash Putito! Guro: Shut up! Pedro: Eh mam ung mga boss ng mga putito Guro: SIT DOWN! Pedro: Last na mam .. Guro: ANO ? Pedro: PUTITO CHIEFS!
Patient: Doc tulungan niyo po ako kasi naiisip ko po I’m a king Doc: Talaga anong pangalan mo!!! Patient: JOE po bakit doc? Doc: Ha!!? You’re must be JOEking.
Inday: Mam, lahat pu pala ng nakalibing ditu.. Ginahasa.. Amo: Pano mo naman nalaman Inday? Inday: Tegnan nyu pu ung Lapeda.. Nakasulat.. RIP
Anak: Dad im fifteen na pwede na ba ako mag BRA? Dad: Di pwede! Anak: But dad all of my friends wear bra na!!! Dad: Tigilan mo nga ako RENATO!!! Baka pisain ko itlog mo!
. . . ?? bahay Condo kahit munti ? ang gadgets doon ay sari sari ? flat screen na TV, blu-ray DVD, ipod, Ipad, Iphone ?? Laptop na malaki, Laptop na maliit, at saka meron pa portable MP3 ??Digicam,Videocam, Wi-Fi at HD, ?? sa paligid ligid ay puno ng . . . Chargeeeerrrrrr ??
Lasing1: Oi pare, ang gwapo mo! Lasing2: Pare ikaw din.! At malakas na halakhak ang lumabas sa bibig ng 2 lasing BwaHaHaHa…. Lasing1: Ang birthday ko, October 15 1984, ikaw pare kailan birthday mo? Lasing2: Aba! October 15 din ako, at 1984 din ‘yong birth year ko! Lasing 1 at 2: BwaHaHAHa! Lasing2: Pare, nagtapos ako ng high school sa Manila High. Ikaw pare? Lasing1: Ha? Akalain mong don din ako nagtapos! Eh ang name ng tatay ko ay Rudy at ang ang nanay ko si Maria. wag mong sabihin na ‘yon din name ng parents mo? Lasing2: Pare, ‘yon din pangalan nila! Ang apelyido ko Pascual, sa ‘yo Lasing1: Pascual din pare, pareho tayo! BwaHaHaHa! (*Narinig sila ng bartenter at binulungan nya ang katabi nya*) Bartenter: Tol’, ‘yong kambal na Pascual lasing na naman.
Tatay : Anak! anu tong F sa card mo ha! Anak : (*nag-iisip*) Tatay… Fasado po ibig sabihin nyan. . . . . . . . . Tatay : Ahh… kala ko Ferpect!
Bata 1: Ano ang kaibahan ng potato at mashed potato?
Bata 2: Itong panyo ko, PUTI TO. Itong damit ko, MAS PUTI TO!
One liner jokes tagalog
Sa restaurant alalang alala ang mga waiter dahil sa dami ng mga tao subalit sa isang restaurant may mayabang na tao at lumapit sa waiter at sinabing:
Mayabang: hoy waiter bakit tagal ng order ko?
(Nagalit ang waiter)
Waiter: mag aantay po kayo dahil mga waiter kami.
Si Bakla ay pumasok sa parlor shop
Parlor artists: good morning Ma’am! sir pala mag papahupit ho kayo
Bakla: hindi!! mag papa haba ako ng bohuk halika dikitan mo nang dumami at humaba.
Pumunta si Bakla ulit sa may seaoil
Mang gasoline:magpapagasoline ho!! kayo
Bakla: hindi yo yosi ako para sasabog tayo
Ano ang nakakagulat na pagkain?
Timothy:Ano?
Luis:Edi.sabaw tska kanin
Guro:Bkt
Luis:kasi SOUP RICE (sabaw tska kanin)
Knock knock jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
I smell mop.
I smell mop who?
Ew.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
I eat mop.
I eat mop who?
That’s revolting.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Yahoo! I’m just as psyched to see you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are, asking me so many questions?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, a cow says mooooo!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
All this time, I had no idea you could yodel.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No I’m not!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Etch.
Etch who?
Bless you, friend.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, now hand over the cash.
Funny knock knock jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Razor.
Razor who?
Razor hands, this is a stick up!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you. Do you love me too?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alec-tricity. Ain’t that a shocker?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Iran.
Iran who?
Iran all the way here. Let me in already!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Says.
Says who?
Says me, that’s who.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use askin’ when you can just open.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Some.
Some who?
Some day you’ll recognize me, hopefully.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice door open, or what?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
No need to cry, it’s only a joke.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Stopwatch.
Stopwatch who?
Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
It’s to whom.
Knock knock.
Who’s There?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to use a condom every time?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Honey bee.
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a dear and open up, would you?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn’t work so help me out, would you?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub already. I’m drowning!
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