Tagalog is one of the most twisted languages that we know of. The language has been originated in the Philippines and it has said to be influenced by Chinese, Spanish, English, Sanskrit, and Tamil. As we said, twisted! People love this language and more and more wanna learn this language as well. Although it’s not going to be that easy. If you are currently learning this language, you already know what we are talking about.
Let’s just get to the point. We are here to help you out. Apart from your regular learning course, you would have to practice as well. Because the more you practice, the better you learn. Like we said earlier, we are here to help. Since you are here, we can assume that you have been looking for some Tagalog questions which would help you to learn better.
So here we have a list of Tagalog questions that you might wanna take a look at. Try to answer these questions and keep your practice up.
Contents
- 1 Tagalog Jokes Questions And Answers
- 2 Comedy Jokes Tagalog
- 3 Tagalog Jokes
- 4 Tagalog Jokes To Make Her Laugh
- 5 Knock knock Jokes Tagalog
- 6 Logic Questions Tagalog Jokes
- 7 Pinoy Jokes
- 8 Tagalog Jokes Kids
- 9 Pinoy Jokes Lines
- 10 Tagalog Jokes Logic
- 11 Potato jokes tagalog
- 12 One liner jokes tagalog
- 13 Knock knock jokes
- 14 Funny knock knock jokes
Also Check- Fast talk questions / best questions meme
Tagalog Jokes Questions And Answers
Question: Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?Answer: Baliw! XD
Q: Bakit maswerte ang kalendaryo?A: Dahil marami siyang date.
Q: Bakit malungkot ang kalendaryo?A: Kasi bilang na ang araw niya.
Q: Anong puno ang hindi pwedeng akyatin?A: eh di yung nakatumba!
Q: Ano ang similarity ang UTOT at TULA?A: Pareho silang nagmula sa POET.
Q: Ano ang pwede mong gawin sa GABI na hindi mo pwedeng gawin sa UMAGA?A: eh di MAGPUYAT.
Q: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng Biology at Sociology?A: ‘Pag ang sanggol kamukha ng tatay Biology yun, Pag kamukha naman ng kapitbahay ninyo ang sanggol, sociology yun.
Q: May tatlong lalake ang tumalon sa tubig, ilan ang nabasa ang buhok?A: eh di..,,wala kalbo silang lahat eh..,,ngeekkkk..!!!
Q: Ano ang maraming sakay jeepney o ambulansya?A: Syempre ang ambulansya! Kasi, ang jeepney ay 10-10 lang ang bawat side; samantalang sa ambulansya, madalas na 50-50 ang sakay.
Q: Bakit gising magdamag ang mga bampira?A: Kasi nag-aaral sila para sa kanilang blood test!
Q: Ano ang makukuha mo sa baboy na magaling mag karate?A: Eh di PORK CHOP!
Q: Bakit kailangang lagyan ng gulong ang rocking chair ni lola?A: Para makapag-rock and roll siya!
Q: Ano ang binibigay ng doctor sa ibon na may sakit?A: Eh di TWEETMENT!
Q: Ano ang mas nakakadiri sa uod na nakita mo sa iyong prutas?A; Eh di yung kalahating uod nalang! pwe! pwe!pwe!
Q: Ano ang tawag ng batang langgam sa sister ng mother niya?A: Eh di ANTY!
Q: Anong bagay ang nagsisimula sa T at nagtatapos sa T at may T rin sa loob?A: eh di TEAPOT!
Q: Ano ang pinakatamad na letter sa English alphabet?A: Letter E, kasi laging nasa BED eh!
Q: Ano ang mangyayari kapag nahulog mo ang isang pulang sumbrero sa asul na dagat?A: Eh di mababasa yung sumbrero!
Q: Paano mo hahatiin sa dalawa ang dagat?A: Gagamit ng SEASAW!
Q: Saan nagpapagupit ang mga tupa?A: Eh di baa-baa shop!
Q: Ano ang pinakamataas na building sa buong mundo?A: Eh di yung library, kasi maraming STORIES doon!
Q: Anong room ang walang ding-ding at pinto?A: Eh di MUSHROOM!
Q; Ano ang gamot sa mga sugat ng balat ng baboy?A: Eh di OINKMENT!
Q: Bakit madaling timbangin ang mga isda?A: Kasi may sarili silang SCALES!
Q; Ano ang paboritong palaman sa tinapay ng astronaut?A: Eh di LAUNCHEON meat!
Q: Ano ang tawag sa kotse ni Jollibee?A: Eh di BEE-M-W!
Q: Ano ang karaniwang sakit ng mga martial arts champion?A: Eh di KUNG FLU!
Q: Saan nagdedeposito ang mga bampira?A: Eh di BLOOD BANK!
Q: Ano ang kinakain ng mga pusa tuwing umaga?A: Eh di MICE KRISPIES!
Q: Saan iniiwan ng mga aso ang kotse nila?A: Eh di BARKING LOT!
Q: Anong gulay ang marunong maglaro ng billiards?A; Eh di CUE-CUMBER!
Q: Anong TV show ang pinapanood ng mga bibi?A; Eh di DUCKUMENTARIES!
Q: Ano ang favorite sport ni Dracula?A: Eh di BAT-MINTON!
Q: Anong ring ang pa-kwadrado?A: Eh di BOXING RING!
Q: Sino ang misis ni NOah?A: Eh di JOAN OF ARC!
Q: Anong key ang nakakabukas ng saging?A; Eh di MONKEY!
Q: Ano ang paboritong palaman ng MMDA?A: Eh di TRAFFIC JAM!
Comedy Jokes Tagalog
Teacher: Class iagine niyo na kayo ay Milyunaryo, isulat niyo sa papel ang inyong mga activities.Students: Yes Ma’am…Teacher: Juan bakit hindi ka pa nagsusulat?Juan: Ma’am inaantay ko pa po ang secretary ko.
Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?Sir: What are my choices?Stewardess: Yes or No.
Meet-Up: Nakita ng lalake na may tinga yung babae…Lalake: Hulaan ko malunggay yung ulam mo nung tanghalian noh?Babae: Hahaha. Sorry pero mali ka. Kagabi pa yung tinolang may malunggay, piniritong manok ulam ko kanina.
Teacher: Juan! Your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy this?!Juan: No mam.. It’s the same dog.
Jun-Jun: Inay! Ako lang ang nakasagot sa tanong ng titser namin kanina!Inay: Very good! Ano ba ang tanong ng titser ninyo?Jun-Jun: “Sino ang walang assignment?”– Jokes tagalog
Employee: Boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun sa pwesto ng manager natin na kamamatay lang?Boss: Ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung papayag ang punerarya.
Titser:Class, what is ETHICS?Pilo:Etiks are smaller than ducks.Titser: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.
Misis: Bakit ngayon ka lang?Mister: Pasensha na, nagyaya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang. Hehe! Hik,Misis: Lasing ka no?Mister: Ako, lashing? Hindi! HikMisis: Anong hindi?! La ka namang trabaho, pano ka nagka-officemates?
Misis: Love, malapit na tayong maging tatlo dito sa bahay.Mister: Talaga love? Magiging daddy na ako?Misis: Hindi love, dito na titira nanay ko.
Tagalog Jokes
Toto: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!Juvy: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?Toto: Hindi! ‘Yan din ang pangarap niya!
BF: Babe laro kami mamaya basketball ha? Saglit lang kami uwi agad ako.GF: Ano oras ka uuwi?BF: Saktong 5pm babe.GF: Ah good. Sang lugar un?BF: Lapit lang sa work namin babe.GF: Ahh ok. Sino sino kayo?BF: Kami parin mga tropa babe. Nagkayayaan kasi eh. Dyan lang sa court ng school.GF: Ah lapit lang pala e.BF: Oo babe. Laro ako ha?GF: HINDI.
Reporter: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo?Police: DNA na…Reporter: Sir, ano po yung DNA?Police: “Di Namin Alam”
Misis: Walang hiya ka. Meron akong nabalitaan! May kabit ka palang 18 years old.Mister: Sus! Huli ka na sa balita! 23 na sya ngayon.
Good News: Nakuha kang model ng sabon.Bad News: Ikaw yung germs!
Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siyaMan2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-HystericalMan1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!”
Tagalog Jokes To Make Her Laugh
Question: Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka.Answer: Operadang bakla? XD
Question: Sino ang sikat na bayani ang nasa Php500 bill? Ang initials niya as “N.A”?.Answer: Nora Aunor? XD
Question: Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?Answer: Itlog ng tao! XD
Question: Anong parte ng itlog ang masarap?Answer: Yung tangkay? XD
Question: Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain.Answer: T@e! XD
Question: Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?Answer: Buhok? XD
Question: Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?Answer: Cold water! XD
Question: Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?Answer: Sunog! XD
Question: Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao?Answer: Humanitarian? XD
Question: Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?Answer: Baby oil? XD
Question: Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?Answer: Sa motel? XD
Question: Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?Answer: Sweetserland? XXD
Question: Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?Answer: Si scooby dooby doo? XD
Knock knock Jokes Tagalog
Knock knockWhos there?ChandelierChandelier whoKahit chandelier pag-ibig mo sana’y maramdam man lang (kahit sandali)
Knock knockWhos there?ChandelierChandelier who?Chandelier na lang maari bang pagbigyan. (Torete intro)
Knock knockWhos there?MayonMayon whoWhen tomorrow comes I’ll be on MAYON
Knock knockWhos there?Pillow talk (zayn malik)Pillow talk who?Ako ay may lobo lumipad sa langit di ko na nakit PILLOW TALK na pala.
Knock knockWhos there?Dog cat binaliktad kinurot pa bernadette jansportBlablabla who?Whatchu gonna do with that dessert? Dog cat binaliktad kinurot pa bernadette bernadette jansport jansport
Knock knockWhos there?CabalenCabalen whoCabalen bilinan ng lola wag uminom ng serbesa
Knock knockWhos there?MatulunginMatulungin who?Matulungin when you nod your head yes but you wanna say no
Knock knockWhos thereMalingMaling whoStart twerking like maling
Knock knockWhos thereMeatloafMeatloaf whoSa yong ngiti akoy nahuhu MALING
Knock knockWhos there?USTUST who?UST call me on my cellphone late night when you need my love
Knock knockWhos there?AmalayerAmalayer who?But darling AMALAYER dressed like a daydream
Knock knockWhos there?This guy’s in love with you pareIf ever your in my arms again, this guy’s in love with you pare
Knock knockWhos there?My thoughtsMy thoughts who?My thoughts.. my knees.. my shoulder.. my head.
Knock knockWhos there?AngonoAngono who?Angono swing from the chandelieeeeeer
Knock knockWhos there?Silver swanSilver swan whoMy mama dont like you, she likes silver swan
Knock knockWhos there?Nanay ni wallyNanay ni wally who?Nanay ni wally na ko sa forever.
Knock knockWhos there?Nae naeNae nae whonae nae tatay gusto ko tinapay ate kuya gusto ko kape
Knock knockWhos there?Bwisit to!Bwisit to! WhoBwisit to! Late now to say sorry
Knock knockWhos there?YemenYemen whoWhat do yemen when you nod your head yes but you wanna say no
Knock knockWhos there?Winnie the Poohwinnie the pooh who?Bang bang winnie the pooh i know you want it
Knock knockWhos there?Gangbang whoGangbang into the room i know you want it lol SPG
Knock knockWhos there?ginabi sa roadGinabi sa road who?why you ginabi sa road? Dont you know im human too.
Knock knockWhos there?pekpekPekpek whoYou look so pekpek standing there in my american apparel underwear hhahaha mukhang pekpek ampota
Knock knockWhos there?MayonnaiseMayonnaise who?My toes, mayonnaise, my shoulder, my head hahahaha okey
Knock knockWhos there?NapakakatiNapakakati who?Napakakati kuya eddie ang sinapit ng aking buhay. Lolszz
Knock knockWhos there?lycaLyca who?Lyca virgin touched for the very first time hihihi
Knock knockWhos there?NeighborNeighbor who?Neighbor mind i,ll find someone like youuu
Knock knockWhos there?rudeRude whoRuuuude, patawad pagkat akoy makasalanan makasalanang nilalang
Knock knockWhos there?Na hNacho who?Nacho! Gwapito raw ako
Knock knockWhos thereDOTA 2DOTA 2 who?Can I have your DOTA 2 the rest of my life. Say yes, say yes cause I need to know.
Knock knockWhos there?Ke$haKe$ha who?La-Ke$ha layaw, la-Ke$ha layaw jeproks
Knock knockWho’s there?jollibeejollibee whowhy you jollibee so rude? Dont you know im human too
Knock knockWhos there?shes dating a gangsterShes dating a gangster who?shes dating a gangster thats under my bed. get along with the voices inside of my head
Knock knockWhos thereToknenengTokneneng who?Tokneneng to me tururuttuturururut
Knock knockwho’s there?lamparalampara who?Kaibigan LAMPARA… Kaibigan LAMPARA..
Knock knockwho’s there?YoujizzYoujizz who?Now Youjizz somebody that I used to know.
Knock knockwho’s there?Nawindangnawindang who?It’s nawindang, I’m yelling timbeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.
Knock knockwho’s there?SamsungSamsung who?Samsung mga daliri kamay at paa LOL
Logic Questions Tagalog Jokes
Basag“You are good looking!”It’s good to answer with,“Thank you, SANA IKAW DIN!”Tama ba?
FoodcourtGirl1: nag-dinner kami ng bf ko kagabi, grabe! na-impressed ako! Ang laki ng resto at ang dami pang choices.Girl2: talaga?! Ano pangalan ng resto?Girl1: Foodcourt!
BaliwBaliw: Hello, check ko lang po kung may tao pa sa room 206?Nurse: Ah, wala na po kaninang hapon pa. Bakit po?Baliw: Uhm… wala naman, chinicheck ko lang yung nakatakas talaga ako….
Sam and PioloPiolo: i just need 5 things in my life…some friends.. some food.. some work.. some love.. and Some Milby..hehe üSabi nmn ni Sam: i just need 5 things in life too..few work.. few friends.. few food.. few love.. and few-lo pascual!! wahaha!
3 Basis of Choosing a Girlfriend:1.) MABAIT*Hindi nagagalit kapag nanananTsing ka2.) MAHIYAIN*Hindi tumatanggap ng regalo.3.) ISIP BATAKung anu-ano sinusubo
Erap JokesJUDGE:Ano ba talaga nangyari?ERAP: ???(di nagsasalita)JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.ERAP:Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to? Bakit may speaking?
KandongDahil sa hirap ng buhay,Pasahero: Mamang tsuper, may bayad po ba kapag bata?Driver: Walapasahero: Kapag kandong?Driver: wala dinPasahero: ok anak umupo kana kakandong ako.
DoktorANAK: Itay, masama ang pakiramdam ko.ITAY: Aba, mataas ang lagnat mo! Patitingnan kita sa doktor.ANAK: Itay, nakatatamad. Kung titingnan lang niya ako; ipadala nyo na lang ang litrato ko.
Erap: Magkano ba yan?Tindera: 100 pesos langErap: Aba mura, sige bibili ako para sa computer ko.Tindera: Bakit para sa computer nyo?Erap: Bakit may windows din naman yon ah!
CalculatorAnak: tay, anu poh yung elevator?Tatay: anak, yung elevetor, kahon yun na tumataas at bumababa sa isang buildingAnak: Ah! eh yung escalator tay?Tatay: anak, yung escalator, yan yung slant na galaw na hagdan….Anak: ah! eh yung calculator?Tatay: ewan ko anak, di pa ako nakasakay niyan..
(Usapan ng dalawang bata)Juan: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo ba yung Pacific Ocean? siya ang humukay nun!Pedro: Wala ‘yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo yung Dead Sea?Juan: Oo…pedro: Siya ang pumatay nun!
VictimJudge: Miss ilang beses ka ba ni-rape nitong akusado?Rape Victim:Tatlong beses po!Rapist: Sinungaling, Dalawang beses lang.Rape Victim: Bakit, di ba Counted yung nasa Ibabaw ako?
(Nasa elevator ka with your crush)Eh that time sinisipon kasuddenly!Napautot crush moNatawa ka! Lumobo sipon moSino mas nakakahiya? Ikaw o siya?
Pinoy Jokes
Anong bansa ang walang pangit? UGANDAAnong bansa ang di sikat? LAOSAnong bansa ang madulas? GREECEAnong bansa ang hindi sa iyo? KENYAAnong bansa ang nakagapos? ITALY–Anong bansa ang maraming bacteria? GERM-ANY–Anong bansa ang nagmamadali? RUSSIA
Learn Japanese:–1) Is this your underwear? Jakimoto–2) Speechless? Wasabi–3) What are your thoughts? kuro-kuro mo–4) Are you regular customer? Sukikaba
Wife: Gusto kong magpadagdag ng boobs…….–Husband: Ha….. di ba masagwa yon, magiging tatlo.
Mga lasa ng gatas ng babae:–Dalagita: Fresh milk–Dalaga:Pasteurized–Bagong kasal: Skimmed–Matagal ng kasal: Yogurt–Matandang dalaga: Taho–Lola: Tokwa
Nag-aaway ang dalawang tanga:–Kulas: Ano ba ang gusto mo? away o gulo–Tomas: Away na lang para walang gulo.–Tomas: Ano ang ingles ang “Maswerte akong lalaki?”–Susan: Lucky Me with Egg.–Tomas: Eh, iyong “matronang babae?”–Susan: Payless instant mommy.
I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with a cute angel,my angel was ugly, tampo ‘ko. I ask St. Peter why cute angel mo. he replied,” Balance of Nature”.
A husband coming home from a confession, suddenly he lifted hiswife and carried her.Wife: Why did the priest tell you to be romantic like this?Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross!
If only I’m an angel, I’ll protect you, I’ll lend you my wings. I’llwatch over you but I’m not an angel………… pero may hawig naman……..,’DIBA ?!?
With this message I would like to thank you for being such a nicefriend to me…. I really appreciate your goodness and truthfulness, especiallywhen you confirmed my…. CUTENESS !.
Teacher : Use DOES and AMONG in the sentence.Peter : AMONG the birds, only parrot DOES talk.Teacher : Very good. Ikaw John.John : When the cowDOESmag na AMONG ang lubi.
A girl with her friendswent to a bar.When she read the signsaying : BELOW 18 NOT ALLOWEDThe girl said : “nge” !!!uli na lang ta oy…. 10 ra man takabuok…
American and a Filipinoconversation.American: Is that an appleyou are eating?Filipino: Yes.American: You know,in States, only poor people eat anapple.Filipino: Oh, is that true?Is that a banana you areeating?American: Yes.Filipino: You know, inPhilippines, only monkeys eatbanana.
Beauty Pageant:Judge: What if you findthat your boyfriend has AIDS, whatwill you do and why?Contestant: I’ll still lovehim..(everybody claps)“coz, AIDS doesn’t matter!,thank you”.
A Chinese lady can’tspeak English. At the grocery, shewanted to buy pork leg, she showedher legs. Next day, she neededchicken breast, she showed herbreast. On the third day, she broughtalong her husband because shewanted sausage. What did she do?Oh, dirty-minded!Her husband can speakEnglish!!!.
Teacher: Arnold, whatdo you call a person who keeps ontalking even when people are nolonger interested??Arnold: A teacher!!!
Wonder girls may say,“I want nobody, nobodybut you..”Then, the boys will reply,“I want your body, yourbody not YOU!!!”
True bravery is to arrivehome..fully drunk from late nightout and mom waiting with a broomin hand, then you asked:“Hey mom, still cleaning?”
Woman with a baby on abus..Driver: what an ugly baby!The mother was hurt, shewent to another seat.The man next to herasked, “What’s wrong?”Woman: The driver justinsulted me.Man: He should give yourespect! Go get his name and I.D.number. I’ll hold your MONKEYfor you! (LOL)
Tagalog Jokes Kids
Teacher: Write a sentence ending with HAND.Juan: My penis in ur hand!Teacher slapped juan…Juan: Sorry I forgot to put space between pen and is…^_^Titser: Ano ang Pambansang Hayop ng Pilipinas? Nagsisimula ito sa letrang “K”!Juan: Kabayo?Titser: Mali! Nagtatapos ito sa letrang “W”!Juan: Kabayow?Titser: Mali! May 2 sungay ito!Juan: demonyong kabayow? Hahahah
Teacher: Juan, ba’t lagi mong nilalawayan ang ulo mo tuwing may klase tayo?Juan: Narinig ko po kasi, sabi ni ate sa boyfriend niya, basain ng laway ang ulo ‘pag ayaw pumasok.
Mayabang si PedroTeacher: Ito na ang resulta ng exam nyo. Si Boy Banat lang nakakuha ng 97%.Pedro: Ano ha?! Kaya nyo yon?! Wala pang aral yon! Sinasayang nyo lang tuition nyo! Umuwi na kayo mga bubu!!Teacher: The rest, nakakuha ng 100% !! hahahahaha
sa isang Math class..–Teacher: Pedro, kung ako’y may 5 anak sa unang asawa, 10 naman sa pangalawa, at 3 sa pangatlo; meron akong?Pedro: Kalandian! Isa kang karengkeng Ma’am.
Teacher asks her pupils what they want to be in the future…Kiko: I want to be a lawyerJuan: I want to be a doctorNene: I want to be a motherPedro: I want to help Nene
Guro: Pedro, Totoo bang hindi naninigarilyo, di umiinom. di nagsusugal at di nangchichicks ang papa mo?Pedrol: Opo!Pedro: Wow! Anong sikreto nya?Pedro: walang pera
Teacher: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?Pupil: my titser is beautiful, isn’t she?Teacher:: very good, translate it in tagalog.Pupil: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?
HRM at NURSING Student nag-uusap:HRM:Penge nga alcohol!!NURSE:La akong alcohol eh.. soriHRM:Naturingan kang nursing student, la kang alcohol!NURSE:Cge nga.pengeng kaldero at sandok!Now n!May dala kb?!
“The prefix “BI” is used to describe things that come in two’s like BIcycle, BIfocal,and BInary.Can you give me an example Juan?”JUAN: (lunok) “Ma’am.. B*YAG?”
Pinoy Jokes Lines
Q: Ano ang sabi ng isda nang hiwain siya sa gitna?A: eh di I’m tuna (two na).
Q: Ano ang sabi ng bangus nang mamamatay na siya?A: eh di I’m daing! (Dying)Q: Anong isda ang di nababasa?A: eh di Tuyo!!
Q: Anong isda ang pinaka matanda?A: eh di Century Tuna!!
Q: San nagtatrabaho ang mga isda?!!A: eh di ofFISH!! (office)
Q: Anong isda ang nakakasulat?!!!A: eh di laFISH!! (lapis)
Q: Anong subject ang paborito ng mga fish?A: eh di FISHical Education (Physical Education)
Q: Ano ang tawag sa doctor ng mga fish?A: eh di FISHician (Physician)
Q: Anong Isda ang bumabaril?A: eh di BANGus!!!
Q: Bakit maalat ang dagat?A: Para hindi mapanis ang mga isda..
Q: Anong isda ang mahilig mangbola?A: eh di Fish ball
Q: Anong fish ang di makapal?A: eh di ManiFISH
Q: Anong isda ang nakalutang sa tubig?A: eh di patay na isda.
Q: Saang subject, palaging bumabagsak ang mga isda?A: eh di FISHsics (Physics)
Q: Anong fish ang may lahing insecto?A: eh di i-FISH (Ipis)
Q: Anong buwan ang fiesta ng mga fish?A: eh di May 1, kasi FISH-tang Dagat.
Q: Sinong fish ang pumapalit pag wala ang Boss?A: eh di Ang o-FISH-er in charge
Q: Saang bansa ang paboritong pasyalan ng mga fish?A: eh di FIN-land
Q: Bakit pumupunta ang mga fish sa pari?A: eh di Para magkum-FISH-al
Q: Anong tawag sa fish na peke?A: eh di Arti-FISH-al
Tagalog Jokes Logic
What is the one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth? What is it?Ans.The Word “And”
What letter comes next: O T T F F S S ?Ans.The letter E
What common English verb becomes its own past tence by rearranging its letters?Ans.Eat
If you have a cube, each edge two inches long, how many total square inches are there among all eight sides?Ans.Hard to say, since cubes have six sides.
Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.Ans.Language
It occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in an hour.Ans.The letter M
Is it correct to say “the yolk of eggs is white” or “the yolk of eggs are white”?Ans.Neither, the yolk of eggs are yellow.
Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?Ans.No, because he’s dead
If a rooster lays an egg on the exact peak of a barn, which side does it fall?Ans.Roosters don’t lay eggs.
There’s a variation that goes as follows: A man, his wife, and their son are in a car accident. They are all rushed to the hospital and the doctor says, “I can’t operate on him, he’s my son.”Ans.The doctor is the man’s father and the boy’s grandfather.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday. He stays three days, then rides out of town on Friday. How?Ans.The horse’s name was Friday
When is a door not a door?Ans.When it’s ajar
Why did the chicken cross the road?Ans.To get to the other side
Potato jokes tagalog
Pedro: Mam ano tawag sa puting gulay ? Guro: Ano ? Pedro: Putito po mam. Eh ung mas maputi sa putito ? Guro: Ano naman yan ? Pedro: Mash Putito! Guro: Shut up! Pedro: Eh mam ung mga boss ng mga putito Guro: SIT DOWN! Pedro: Last na mam .. Guro: ANO ? Pedro: PUTITO CHIEFS!
Patient: Doc tulungan niyo po ako kasi naiisip ko po I’m a king Doc: Talaga anong pangalan mo!!! Patient: JOE po bakit doc? Doc: Ha!!? You’re must be JOEking.
Inday: Mam, lahat pu pala ng nakalibing ditu.. Ginahasa.. Amo: Pano mo naman nalaman Inday? Inday: Tegnan nyu pu ung Lapeda.. Nakasulat.. RIP
Anak: Dad im fifteen na pwede na ba ako mag BRA? Dad: Di pwede! Anak: But dad all of my friends wear bra na!!! Dad: Tigilan mo nga ako RENATO!!! Baka pisain ko itlog mo!
. . . ?? bahay Condo kahit munti ? ang gadgets doon ay sari sari ? flat screen na TV, blu-ray DVD, ipod, Ipad, Iphone ?? Laptop na malaki, Laptop na maliit, at saka meron pa portable MP3 ??Digicam,Videocam, Wi-Fi at HD, ?? sa paligid ligid ay puno ng . . . Chargeeeerrrrrr ??
Lasing1: Oi pare, ang gwapo mo! Lasing2: Pare ikaw din.! At malakas na halakhak ang lumabas sa bibig ng 2 lasing BwaHaHaHa…. Lasing1: Ang birthday ko, October 15 1984, ikaw pare kailan birthday mo? Lasing2: Aba! October 15 din ako, at 1984 din ‘yong birth year ko! Lasing 1 at 2: BwaHaHAHa! Lasing2: Pare, nagtapos ako ng high school sa Manila High. Ikaw pare? Lasing1: Ha? Akalain mong don din ako nagtapos! Eh ang name ng tatay ko ay Rudy at ang ang nanay ko si Maria. wag mong sabihin na ‘yon din name ng parents mo? Lasing2: Pare, ‘yon din pangalan nila! Ang apelyido ko Pascual, sa ‘yo Lasing1: Pascual din pare, pareho tayo! BwaHaHaHa! (*Narinig sila ng bartenter at binulungan nya ang katabi nya*) Bartenter: Tol’, ‘yong kambal na Pascual lasing na naman.
Tatay : Anak! anu tong F sa card mo ha! Anak : (*nag-iisip*) Tatay… Fasado po ibig sabihin nyan. . . . . . . . . Tatay : Ahh… kala ko Ferpect!
Bata 1: Ano ang kaibahan ng potato at mashed potato?Bata 2: Itong panyo ko, PUTI TO. Itong damit ko, MAS PUTI TO!-
One liner jokes tagalog
Sa restaurant alalang alala ang mga waiter dahil sa dami ng mga tao subalit sa isang restaurant may mayabang na tao at lumapit sa waiter at sinabing:Mayabang: hoy waiter bakit tagal ng order ko?(Nagalit ang waiter)Waiter: mag aantay po kayo dahil mga waiter kami.
Si Bakla ay pumasok sa parlor shopParlor artists: good morning Ma’am! sir pala mag papahupit ho kayoBakla: hindi!! mag papa haba ako ng bohuk halika dikitan mo nang dumami at humaba.–Pumunta si Bakla ulit sa may seaoilMang gasoline:magpapagasoline ho!! kayoBakla: hindi yo yosi ako para sasabog tayo
Ano ang nakakagulat na pagkain?Timothy:Ano?Luis:Edi.sabaw tska kaninGuro:BktLuis:kasi SOUP RICE (sabaw tska kanin)
Knock knock jokes
Knock knock.Who’s there?Tank.Tank who?You’re welcome.
Knock knock.Who’s there?I smell mop.I smell mop who?Ew.
Knock knock.Who’s there?I eat mop.I eat mop who?That’s revolting.
Knock knock.Who’s there?Ya.Ya who?Yahoo! I’m just as psyched to see you!
Knock knock.Who’s there?Voodoo.Voodoo who?Voodoo you think you are, asking me so many questions?
Knock knock.Who’s there?Cow says.Cow says who?No, a cow says mooooo!
Knock knock.Who’s there?A little old lady.A little old lady who?All this time, I had no idea you could yodel.
Knock knock.Who’s there?Europe.Europe who?No I’m not!
Knock knock.Who’s there?Etch.Etch who?Bless you, friend.
Knock knock.Who’s there?Robin.Robin who?Robin you, now hand over the cash.
Funny knock knock jokes
Knock knock.Who’s there?Razor.Razor who?Razor hands, this is a stick up!
Knock knock.Who’s there?Olive.Olive who?Olive you. Do you love me too?
Knock knock.Who’s there?Alec.Alec who?Alec-tricity. Ain’t that a shocker?
Knock knock.Who’s there?Howl.Howl who?Howl you know unless you open the door?
Knock knock.Who’s there?Iran.Iran who?Iran all the way here. Let me in already!
Knock knock.Who’s there?Says.Says who?Says me, that’s who.
Knock knock.Who’s there?Snow.Snow who?Snow use askin’ when you can just open.
Knock knock.Who’s there?Some.Some who?Some day you’ll recognize me, hopefully.
Knock knock.Who’s there?Candice.Candice who?Candice door open, or what?
Knock knock.Who’s there?Boo.Boo who?No need to cry, it’s only a joke.
Knock knock.Who’s there?Stopwatch.Stopwatch who?Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!
Knock knock.Who’s there?To.To who?It’s to whom.
Knock knock.Who’s There?Dewey.Dewey who?Dewey have to use a condom every time?
Knock knock.Who’s there?Honey bee.Honey bee who?Honey bee a dear and open up, would you?
Knock knock.Who’s there?Lettuce.Lettuce who?Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
Knock knock.Who’s there?Mikey.Mikey who?Mikey doesn’t work so help me out, would you?
Knock knock.Who’s there?Dwayne.Dwayne who?Dwayne the bathtub already. I’m drowning!
Conclusion –
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