Being cheated in a relationship is the worst feeling ever. And there is nothing worse knowing that you have put your heart into a relationship and down everything that it takes to make this work, while the other person was out there breaking your heart.
Unfortunately, many of us have been in the position where we got cheated on. It’s pretty sad that we live in a world where we have to compromise the loyalty and the love just for the sake of fun. People might not know what it would do the person who has been loyal in the relationship and does every right thing. But on the other hand, we still decide to make the relationship work, for the sake of love that we have for our partner, and this might not change even when they have cheated on you.
Yes, it’s not at all easy to forgive a cheater and it takes a lot of effort to forgive what they have done to you. But you will have to forgive them if you want to move on with your life. And sometimes being able to forgive makes you feel better as well.
In this article, we are going to list out some ways which might help you to forgive the cheater. So let’s move forward and find out How to Forgive a Cheater!
Also check – Signs wife is cheating / Questions to ask your unfaithful spouse
How to forgive cheater
1. Decide whether or not you should forgive the cheaterThe first step you need to take is to decide whether you should forgive your partner. Because let’s face it if they have cheated on you thy might not deserve forgiveness and the chances are they can do this in the future as well. So you need to take everything into account and then decide whether or not they deserve your forgiveness.Your decision to forgive them depends on the circumstances in which they have cheated on you. See if it was a spontaneous decision, like when things were going through a rough pay h in your relationship, or whether they did it under the influence of alcohol, or they have done it for once with a really special person in their life. The bottom line is, you might be able to move past it if you know that it was a one-time thing.On the other hand, if your partner has cheated on by being with someone for a really long time or there were lots of lying and planning to cover it, and they have been a full-fledged relationship apart from yours, then it might not be worth to forgive them or make things work.
2. Take some time offGive yourself a break from the relationship and take some time to think about what they have done and how you will be able to process these things. The reason behind it is you don’t want to do all these things right after you got to know that your partner has cheated on you. We know you the first reaction would be yelling, fighting, or hurting them as they have hired you, but it would be wrong for both of you. You might do something that was never your intention and you end up hurting them as well yourself.This will make things worse and you might not able to forgive them or get back to normal either. And that’d why you take some time and let yourself process the news and the circumstances.This might be the most difficult step you will have to take, but in order to forgive them, you need to spend some time alone. You can live alone for a while without your significant other. Spend some time with yourself, whether crying or trying to move on. This way you will get all the answers and you will know how much the partner matter to you.
3. Don’t blame yourselfWhen people get cheated on, they definitely think that it was their fault, at some point or another. And this should never happen. See if you are blaming yourself, you are giving justifications for their doing (which was pretty wrong and there can’t be any explanation for it). People might start to blame themselves and think that they weren’t attractive enough or good enough for their partner. And this is the worst thing you can do to yourself. See when someone cheats on you, there are no justifications for their behavior. It doesn’t really matter what were circumstances. If they have cheated on you, it’s entirely their fault and there is nothing you could have down which would make them stop from doing such a thing.
4. Have a conversation with themNow that you have decided that you want to forgive them or not and whether you want to make things work. Now it’s time to have the talk with your partner. But before you start the talk, you will have to be sure that your partner is deeply sorry for their behavior and they want to make things right. You will also have to be sure that they won’t do such a thing in the future no matter what.Having a conversation with them will definitely help you to forgive them, as you know that they are sorry and they are willing to work. You will also have to share your feelings and be open about how you feel about them.This way, you are also giving them a chance to explain their point and why did they take this step. This might not be easier to listen but in order to forgive your significant other, you will have to hear them out and let them know how much they have hurt you.
5. Remember the good times you have spent togetherSince you have decided to forgive them it’s time that you remember why you loved them in the first place. We are it’s saying that it’s easy for you to forgive them but if you are in a relationship with them for a long time now, it’s better to leave things behind (only when they are willing to make things right and they deserve the forgiveness!). And the best way to do so Is to remember why you are with them for so long. Go through old pictures and remember the good times you have spent together.This will make you see why you need this to make work and why they deserve your forgiveness.
6. Don’t obsess over the person they have cheated withIt would be a lot easier to forgive the person if you have never met the third person, whom they have cheated with. But if you have met that person, then try not to put all the blame on them or become obsessed with them. See it was partly your partner’s fault, and you can’t possibly put all the blame on them. Try not to follow them or stalk them after you have got to know about cheating, this will only hurt you and make things worse. And you might find it much more difficult to forgive them once you start looking up to the other person.
7. Start slowlyDon’t expect things to go back to normal just after you have forgiven them. It’s a big thing and it won’t fix it overnight. So give your relationship downtime to pass the rough patch and wait for things to get better. You will have to restart the relationship, which means putting the trust aging and making each other feel loved again.
8. Don’t talk about this more oftenIn order to forgive them, you have to forget it too. Don’t use their infidelity in the future fights and don’t mention it over and over again. Yes, you want to have a relationship but you also want to have a healthy relationship. And constantly depending yourself of the cheating will only make it worse for both of you and you might never get over it!
9. Let it go if you can’t forgive themThere is no rule that you have to forgive them for the sake of the relationship or the time you have spent with each other. If you find it difficult to forgive them even after they have said sorry for a million times or you have gone through everything over and over again, then this might be a sign that you will have to let it go.
Conclusion –So that’s how you can forgive a cheater. Here we are not suggesting that you should forget what they have down to you and just get back together because this will take some time. Here being able to forgive means that you are ready to move on with your life, whether with them or without them. It might or might not affect them, but if you forgave them, you will definitely feel better and you will find it easier to move on.So here we come to an end for our article, how to forgive a cheater. And we hope you found it helpful. So thank you for being with us and we are glad we could help.