Breakups can be incredibly distressing, regardless of whether the relationship was brief or long-term. Even the most amicable separations can bring up feelings of pain and resentment. It’s common to have many questions after a breakup, as hindsight often reveals warning signs that were previously overlooked.
In our quest for forever and happily-ever-after, we often forget that all relationships have a natural lifespan. After a breakup, questions inevitably arise. These moments can feel overwhelming, especially when faced with the prospect of meeting or talking to our ex.
While talking to an ex may feel daunting, it can also provide closure and potentially lead to a healthy friendship. However, it’s crucial to approach these conversations with care, avoiding questions that may stir up trouble.
If you’re unsure about what to talk to your ex about, there are some safe questions you can consider. We’ve compiled a list to help you navigate this challenging conversation and maintain a healthy dialogue. Take a look at the following questions to ask your ex and proceed with consideration.
Also check – signs a guy doesn’t want to lose / signs a guy knows he messed up
Contents
Best Questions To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend
1. “Do You Still Miss Me?”
If you want to start a conversation with your ex, this is one of the excellent questions to ask your ex boyfriend or girlfriend because it doesn’t require much thought. There are a lot of different aspects that go into missing your ex.
Because the two of you have spent so much time together, it is only natural that a question of this nature arises. You are well aware that they are missing you, and vice versa. You want to hear from them that they are missing you and care about you.2. “Did The Breakup Change You?”
A person’s character can either improve or deteriorate due to a breakup. Have they improved their ability to listen to others or developed strategies for dealing with conflict in a positive manner? These are some things you should learn about your ex-partner, particularly if you are getting along well.3. “What Made You Interested In Me?”
When you’ve moved on and formed a friendship with the person who broke up with you, one of the questions to ask your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is this one. There are a lot of characteristics that women find attractive in men and vice versa.
Was it your self-assurance, the fact that you are a kind and generous person, or one of your physical characteristics that attracted your ex? You may need this information when you’re ready to start dating other people.4. “Do You Recall Our First Date?”
A quick tour down memory lane to stir up feelings of longing and sentimentality, as well as one of the least challenging questions to ask your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to kick off a conversation.
You are thinking about your first date with them and want to ask them about it, to see if they remember how well it went or how awkward it was.5. “Were We A Fine Match For One Another?”
This is yet another question you should ask your ex to acquire further comprehension regarding your previous relationship. Physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual compatibility are the five main types of compatibility.
Physical compatibility is the most important. A relationship can experience difficulties even if just one thing is incompatible between the two people.6. “Have You Ever Had Real Love For Me?”
Our perspective tends to be skewed when dealing with the aftermath of a breakup. We have no way of knowing whether or not they ever loved us or whether or not everything was just a sham.
Since the two of you are no longer together, you should talk to your ex about whether or not they ever loved you and get an honest answer from them.7. “Did You Find Fulfilment In The Relationship?”
The fact that they were in a relationship with you does not ensure they were content simply because of that connection. If you were unaware they were unhappy, it provides valuable information about how you function as a partner.
Because we all want to be considered trustworthy partners, we are all hoping that the response to this question will be yes.8. “What Concerning Our Relationship Required To Be Improved?”
This is one of the most important questions you should ask your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend after they’ve broken up with you. Was it the timing, or was there something wrong with the chemistry? How satisfying was our sexual life together, and was there room for improvement?
Was there a breakdown in the lines of communication? Find out what was missing in your previous relationship so you can work on improving the one you have coming up in the future.9. “When Exactly Did You Fall For Me?”
These types of questions are cute to ask your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. It makes no difference how badly the relationship ended. Reflecting on and talking about it with others is still a comforting memory.
Or it was when they were sick, and you brought them some homemade soup, and it was the first time you kissed them.10. “Which One Aspect Of Me Could You Not Stand?”
Everyone has both positive and negative characteristics. In the end, we are all only human beings. It’s been some time since we broke up, and you’ve wondered: what about me, in particular, caused my ex to feel resentment? Was it my tendency to be bossy, or did they resent that I didn’t give them sufficient time?11. “Do You Regret Anything?”
If regrets plague someone, it may not be easy to accept what has transpired and forgive themselves for their part in it. You are allowing your ex to make amends by asking this of them, so take advantage of it.
Even though it may be too late to make amends or do things differently, discussing this topic is still beneficial. You will feel better knowing that any harm done to you was probably unintentional and was followed by regret on the part of the person who did it. You can also talk about the things that you regret if that helps.12. “What Did You Like And Dislike About Us?”
Every relationship has both positive and negative aspects. The two of you may be skilled at resolving arguments. Still, your insecurities are holding you back, or your partner’s competitive nature is causing a lot of friction in the relationship.13. “What’s My Best Trait?”
Hearing this from someone hurting due to the breakup of your relationship can be very therapeutic. It is not important what they think of you as much as what you can learn from this experience.
Knowing that they still see good in you despite the ending demonstrates your maturity levels and that things did not get too out of hand before the end. After a breakup, this is one of those questions to ask your ex boyfriend or girlfriend because it can help you both move on healthily and positively.14. “Do You Regret Meeting Us?”
A mature person will view the end of a relationship as an opportunity to learn and improve themselves. If your ex-partner has expressed a desire to forget everything the two of you have shared in the past, they are not mature, and understanding this will help you move on with your life.15. “Have You Conferred Me Negatively With Your Friends?”
Even though it’s not a good idea, many people continue to speak ill of their exes after a breakup, even though it’s not a good thing to do.
If the two of you are still friends after the relationship has ended, this is one of the humorous questions you can ask your ex. If you have made fun of them in your group, you should also share that with them.16. “Did You Cheat On Me Or Consider It?”
It is easy to assume that it was because of another individual if you do not know why your relationship did not work out. Our first inclination is to blame others, and there’s a chance that this is justified.
You should investigate further if you suspect you were the victim of infidelity or betrayal. If this is the case, you should ask yourself what you could have done differently to prevent the other person from cheating.17. “Are You Okay With Me Moving On?”
Will it be embarrassing for them to see you with someone else? Will it make them happy to see you so content? This gives you an idea of where they are in breaking up with you.
If you are seeing someone and posting photos online, you and that person should consider muzzling or unfriending each other for some time until you are both over it.18. “Are You Seeing Anyone Right Now?”
It is in your best interest not to be taken aback if and when your ex-partner attends a party with their new significant other or posts pictures of themselves doing so online.
You will be better prepared to observe that if you ask them this question. You could ask them to let you know if they start seeing someone else so you aren’t caught off guard if they do.19. “Did You Like Other Girls/boys?”
Those who have known real love and been in at least one committed partnership for a significant amount of time know that when you are deeply in love, it can be difficult even to consider the possibility of being with anyone else. This should serve as a red flag when it does and if it does occur.
Even though you might be to blame, it’s possible that your ex is just not ready for a serious commitment and is exploring different things because they do not want to settle down yet. Knowing that the problem was with the timing rather than with you is always helpful.20. “What Does A Happy Relationship Require?”
You know everything that must occur within a romantic partnership to experience joy. Nevertheless, the response from your ex is helpful for several different reasons. They will likely emphasise the aspects of the requirements that were difficult to fulfil and portray you as demanding.
Or, your ex might discuss how they fell short of meeting your needs and explain why this happened. It’s possible that you didn’t require as much affection as your ex-partner did. You may need some personal space while they are the possessive type. This disparity led to an imbalance in the system.Also check – signs a girl has never had a boyfriend / signs she is dating multiple guys
Deep Questions to ask your ex
1. Did you ever love me?
2. At any point, did you see yourself spending forever with me?
3. Did you cheat on me?
4. How many times?
5. Why me?
6. Did you talk to your ex when you were with me?
7. Did I ever do anything that made you jealous?
8. What’s your biggest regret about our relationship?
9. What’s the worst thing you ever did to me?
10. What did you actually think of my friends?
11. What did you actually think of my friends?
12. What’s your favorite memory of us being together?
13. What was your favorite thing about me?
14. What was your least favorite thing about me?
15. Did you really enjoy our sex life?
16. What would you have done differently?
17. Do you still think about me?
18. How often?
19. Do you ever think about me when you’re having sex?
20. Or do I pop into your head when your masturbating?
21. Do you think we could’ve actually worked out our problems?
22. Do you wish we could work it out now?
23. When you like my Instagram and Facebook posts and favorite my tweets, are you flirting with me or trying to mess with me?
24. Do you have a little beeper that goes off and lets you know when I’m not thinking about you and that’s why you decide to text me?
25. What have you told your new significant other about me?
26. Do you still talk about me to your friends?
27. Do your friends hate me?
28. Did you keep the presents I gave you?
29. Do any songs or TV shows remind you of me?
30. What do you think of me now?
31. What do you really think about my body?
32. Do you think you were the settler in our relationship, or I was?
33. If you could tell me anything, what would you say?
34. Do you wish we were still together?
Questions to ask your ex boyfriend
35. Did you cheat during the relationship?
36. Do you consider our break up ugly?
37. Do you miss the relationship?
38. Do you regret how things turned out?
39. How did we meet?
40. How great of a girlfriend was I?
41. How long were we together?
42. If you are a 100% honest, who would you blame mostly for the break-up?
43. What did we argue about the most?
44. What do you miss about our relationship?
45. What do you wish I did to save our relationship?
46. What is my favorite food?
47. What is one question you want me to answer honestly?
48. What is something that you liked doing together?
49. What is the sweetest thing the I did for you?
50. What is your most memorable moment with me?
51. What shoe size do I wear?
52. What was the first thing you noticed about me?
53. What was your first impression of me?
54. What is your current impression of me?
55. What would I eat every day if I could?
56. What’s my ethnicity/nationality?
57. What’s my eye color?
58. What’s my favorite breakfast item?
59. What’s my favorite drink?
60. What’s my favorite genre of tv shows?
61. What’s my favorite sport?
62. What’s one food I do not like?
63. What’s something I do excellently?
64. What’s something you do that I hated?
Also check – How to Forgive a Cheater
Questions to ask your ex girlfriend
65. Do you regret the relationship didn’t work?
66. What did you like best about me and the relationship?
67. What was lacking in me and the relationship?
68. Do you miss me and the relationship?
69. Did you ever see a future with me?
70. What’s your favorite memory of us together?
71. Do you still have the things I gave you?
72. If you could change something about the relationship, what would it be?
73. Did the relationship change you in any way?
74. Do you think you have changed since the break-up?
75. Why did I break up?
76. Do I want him/her to get back? If yes, why?
77. Am I sure I want him/her back, or is this just a temporary phase that I will overcome after some time?
78. Have I spent a considerable amount of time away from him/her and still feel the same for him/her?
Conclusion:
These questions aim to foster reflection and understanding while also providing an opportunity for closure and potentially establishing a healthy post-breakup dynamic. Remember to approach the conversation with empathy and an open mind, focusing on your personal growth and well-being moving forward.
