It impacts us so badly when we see our parents fighting. It crushes us. It gives us one of the most negative feelings that we can ever experience. But being a child we cannot just sit and see that happening in front of our eyes. We have to do something to deal with our parents fighting.
It can be very tough to tackle… As it is the hardest thing we can ever think of.
Not being able to do anything would hurt. And doing something that would result in our parents fighting much more would hurt too. So we have to be very, very careful with the steps we are going to take. In these situations the children take too much stress and affect their mental health badly. It is normal to feel sad and negative but too feeling too much impacts our brain badly.
Dealing with it can be hard and if the intensity is high then even more. But do not worry however hard it is you always find a way to deal with the stuffs we face in our life.
Tell yourself that it will pass; I know it can be a tough time for you but you will find some very good tips to deal with it.
Also check – Questions to ask your parents / How to deal with insecurities in relationship
How To Deal With Your Parents Fighting
Create your boundaries
You heard it correct. Create some boundaries with them. Do not go to them while they are fighting and do not try to fix it. It is not your fault that it is happening. It might be the case sometimes that they would blame you, they will say that you are the reason that all this started happening in the first place but trust me it is not. You are a pretty soul and let that not leave your mind. It is okay. Your parents are also human.
Maybe it is just a phase and it will pass it soon. Also remember what to talk to them about while these things are happening. In my opinion keeping minimal contact is nice. Do nothing that make them angry and result in them fighting with each other again.
Also keep in mind not to take any side. It is very crucial, you never know how things would end and you do not want to experience something you are never ready for.
Find a safe place for you
All those noises, those shouting, those negative talks that they would say to each other is unbearable and very hard to listen to. You do not have. To keep yourself from any mental and physical harm, find a safe place for you inside your home and go there.
Many a times it happens that the parents deliver the anger on their kids instead of delivering it somewhere. It can be a very horrible experience. And all the things they say to each other, is also something you would not want to hear and get reminded of again and again. If the place is exposed to a door try locking it and listen to some music. And try not to think about all the things happening at your home.
Go to someone else’s house
It can be a bit problematic searching for a safe place in your house if it is a small one or something. If it is the case what you may do is go to someone else’s house and spend some time and return back when you think everything would be over.
This can help you have someone by your side when you are in distress. Staying all away from your house will not make you concentrate on the things that you try hard not to do.
Also if the house is at some distance it will help you relax a bit in the fresh air while going to their house.Go to the terrace and watch your favorite movie or listen to your favorite movie or something that steals your concentration from the rest of the world.
Yes it is being repeated again. The main motive here is also to make yourself occupied and not witness the things you are not ready for.Take advantage of this time and do the things that are pending on your list. See, you do not have to feel guilty about this. They have been life partners for years and now they are may be in the phase where they are fighting yeah I can understand that is being too much but there is nothing you could do for them so, pay attention to your work make yourself feel good because you have to live in the same house at the end of the day. And being happy or making yourself happy by any means would just be a big help.
Going to a terrace can prove futile because of the exposure of the air that you will get and you might end up making some of your best work or maybe learning something in a much efficient way or maybe making yourself feel better by watching or listening to something.
Talk to someone who you trust, have your own people
It can be very beneficial having someone who would hear you talk things out. As I mentioned earlier it is understandable that it is a very tough time to go through. And having someone by your side who you think understands you can be good for your mental health.
We always search for a shoulder while we are at our lowest. If you have a sibling it is even better because you both are going through the exact same thing and having to talk to them can be very therapeutic.Also do not let this negative environment spoil the relationship you are having with your people outside your family like your friends or someone you are in a relationship with. You should know that it is important to keep our people together with us that constantly support and uplift us in our hard times no matter what. Those people are very rarely found and should be kept safe.
Tell your parents how you feel
If nothing works out and you see that the situation is becoming worse and worse with each passing day you may try talking to them. Maybe they do not know what impact it is having on you and how much it is disturbing you. Try to educate them about the effects it is making on you. They belong from an era where mental health was not paid that much attention. But maybe after realizing it they would stop; seeing their child in so much pain and start living the way they did trying to solve whatever the problem they have peacefully.
But if that also does not affect them then it is hard to say anything would stop them. Start looking for help. If talking to someone elder in the family (if any) makes it easy and helps them stop it then do it. Or if you have any other in mind then execute it and try to be independent as soon as possible to make your space from all these negativity.
Maybe it is okay and you are worrying too much
It may be that the fights are frequent and intense but at the end of the day they want to live together no matter what. So, make yourself understand that some fights are okay, if at the end of the day they want to live with each other. Maybe that is their way to express their love. It is maybe you that cannot accept it and you see these things differently. Its just that the perspectives are different.
Be your partner, keep yourself prepared (just in case)
Suppose for a while that it goes out of the way and your parents want to be separated. You will not be able to do anything except tell yourself that it was destined to happen. Educate yourself about this. Make yourself prepared for these things and do not be hard on yourself. Do not let this affect your relationships with people.
Conclusion:
Blaming yourself would just hurt you much and much more. It will just keep deteriorating your mental health and nothing futile would come from it. The thing is some things are just destined to happen and you and I are just the puppets of nature.
We cannot stop something from happening but what we can do is to learn how to deal with it and protect ourselves from it. They are your parents you have seen them loving each other all their lives in front of you and now they are fighting. Most of us probably pray to god for blessing us with the kind of relationship they have.
But this was to happen. And it is okay. It is life things are going to come and go. But you are going to remain and see all these happening in your life. Seeing your parents’ marriage break of can be something you have not imagined but you cannot stop it either if it is happening.
In spite of blaming all the possibilities and whatever things coming in your mind you can learn from their mistakes and you can implement it in your life and relationship so that your kids probably do not have to experience it. Take care of yourself; do not let anything have a very hard impact on you.
