25 Questions to Ask A Romance Scammer (2024)

The next time you go online looking for love, be aware that a romance fraudster can be waiting for you, waiting for a chance to tug at your emotions in order to get you to relax your purse strings. Fortunately, you may foil a romance scam in its tracks by asking the correct questions of the con artist.

A person who wants to scam you by pretending to be in love with you is likely to have done their research, built a plausible back story, and developed a cover that can be somewhat safeguarded. Therefore, asking basic, direct questions won’t provide the answers you need to corroborate your suspicions about a possible date’s motivations. The only way to spot a romance scammer is to delve further and ask questions that will make the person on the other end uncomfortable.

You can’t just start asking them pointed, revealing questions right away. They will mistakenly believe that you are only trying to get to know them better; therefore, you need to ease into the conversation with some routine, personal inquiries so you can do a background check. In order to assist them in identifying a potential romance scammer, here are the most frequent questions users on dating websites fail to ask their potential partners.

Questions to Ask A Romance Scammer

Where were you born and raised?

It’s OK to inquire about someone’s present residence as you get to know them. However, it’s a little odd to inquire about their birthplace or upbringing.
If the other person avoids that question or omits some aspects while describing their upbringing, it might be a sign that you are dealing with a romantic con artist.

Where do you call home?

When two people are getting to know one another, this kind of inquiry seems to be extremely typical. But in actuality, you may learn a lot from it.
If you’re dealing with a romantic scam artist, they’ll likely pick a different city from yours since they don’t want you to know you reside there.
Therefore, when they mention the city in which they reside, you should Google it and seem as though you are an expert on the location since you’ve been there or spent time there previously.

I wonder whether you know (insert name).

If they claim to live in a small town or a part of the city that you are familiar with, you might inquire about a renowned person who also resides there as well as prominent structures, eateries, etc.
A warning sign that someone is lying to you is if they don’t know that person or building. However, you actually need to choose something that practically everyone in that city or region is familiar with.

What high school did you graduate from?

You should really find out when and where they completed high school from them. You may visit that high school and ask around once you have those specifics.
If it’s a real person, someone will know something about them. And since it’s a typical question individuals ask while getting to know someone, they shouldn’t have any reason to suspect anything.

How do you make a living?

In actuality, they could find this query odd if it isn’t a phony profile. They can begin to believe that you are just interested in financial things if you ask about their finances.
However, you must ask them this question if you have already seen a few warning signs that the person you are texting is a romance scammer.

If they claim to work for Starbucks, you should find out exactly which Starbucks they are referring to, then go there and ask other staff members about them. You may be the target of a romance scammer if they claim they don’t know anyone by that name.
Don’t just let them state what they do or what their line of work is, since they can be telling lies. If they claim work on an oil rig, for instance, you need to ask them a slew of questions to find out more about their position.

Which eatery back home do you prefer?

Once more, here is a question to ask a romance fraudster that exploits the value of specificity. You will find them floundering for an answer since they truly know very little or nothing about the city they claim to be from. They could even end the discussion if you are communicating by text message under some pretense or another. This violates the norms of texting while dating and should be seen as a red flag.
Or you can be sure they’re lying through their teeth if they claim a McDonald’s or Subway on a certain street is their favorite location to dine. Who even chooses a fast-food business as their preferred dining establishment in their hometown? Most likely, a fast online search produced their response.

Which middle name do you have?

You’ll agree that when individuals start messaging and getting to know one another, this isn’t a question they frequently ask one another. To catch them off guard is the goal, though.
They could think of a name right away; it’s not difficult. To find out how uneasy they make you if they’re lying to you, you need to ask them a couple additional questions regarding their middle name.

For instance, you may inquire about the origin of their name, the person who gave it to them, or its significance.
If they take some time to respond, it’s a warning sign that they were looking up the meaning of their name on Google and fabricating a backstory about how they came to have a middle name.

What age are you?

I see what you’re going to say now, okay. Making up a number and lying about your age to an online stranger is simple.
However, there are a few techniques you can use to determine whether the person you’re texting is lying about their age. You may, for instance, see if the number matches what was provided in their dating app profile.

What was your favorite custom when you were young?

Everyone remembers particular family rituals that were an important part of their growing-up years, whether it was an occasional picnic at a nearby park with extended family or friends or yearly trips to a cottage in the woods. Even if they are selling you an orphan sob story, they must have grown up with some sort of support structure.
What signs of a romance scam can you look for? You may determine if someone is sincere or just a gold-digger attempting to con you by asking them to share stories from their upbringing.

What kind of relationship are you in right now?

They’ll probably claim to be single because it would be embarrassing if they had a dating website profile. However, you must question them about their romantic relationships.
What sort of individuals do they like, how many partners have they had, when and why did they split up with their ex-partner, and what characteristics should their prospective spouse possess? You will learn more about the individual you are working with after asking all those questions.

Do you own any pets?

People frequently ask this query when they wish to learn more about someone. However, knowing this type of information about their personal lives may actually help you determine if they are telling the truth or just making stuff up about themselves.
And don’t accept a simple yes or no response from them in response to your query. Get additional information from them by asking them questions such as, “Where did you get that animal?” and “What’s the name of your pet?”

How has your day been?

To learn more about them, their daily routines, the places they visit, where they eat, and other details, you will ask them this question.
They could lie to you about all of those things, but they might also be honest since they won’t believe you are interrogating them about their genuine identity. And such information regarding their private lives can enable you to identify them and expose them.

When you’ve finished with these standard warm-up questions, you should start to get personal by asking some probing questions. You should ban someone if their responses raise too many red flags and you suspect they are using a fake dating profile in order to scam you.

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Could you please provide me with your phone number so that we may communicate on a regular basis?

If you’re dealing with a romance scammer, they’ll likely invent an explanation for why they can’t provide you with their actual phone number. If they’re a skilled con artist, they could purchase a new phone and a new number that they’ll cancel as soon as they’ve conned you.
However, if they offer you their phone number, you should surprise them by sending them a text message. Additionally, if they are genuinely lying to you, call them at an odd hour so you may catch them off guard.

How would you describe your family?

You must compel them to discuss their families. They might invent a family history, but they’ll leave out certain important aspects. You must concentrate on these specific features because of this.
You should also check over their profile pictures to see if they have any family members.
You may even request that they give you a few. If you don’t believe it’s appropriate to approach them right away, you may send them a photo of your family instead. If their profile is authentic, they will likely respond with a similar image of their own.

Who in your family is your favorite, and why?

The idea is to learn the identities of their relatives so that, in the event that they are in fact a con artist, you or law enforcement may more easily apprehend them through their family.
Ask them about their loved ones and friends, and then attempt to recall or note down any names they say. Additionally, you may look up their relatives on social networking sites to see whether they are real or not.

What college did you attend?

You should find out where they attended college if they or their dating profile indicate that they have graduated. If they say Harvard or another esteemed institution, you may confirm this at the source or use such institutions’ directories to look up the person’s name.

How did your life look before this project?

They must have had a life before this present job, whether they are in the military, working on an oil rig, or an employee of a company on an offshore assignment. Therefore, include this on your list of inquiries to make to a romantic con artist to catch them off guard.
Inquire about their job, previous relationships, friends, previous residences, etc. What signs of a romance scam can you look for? The more shaky their replies, the more certain you may be that this is a hoax.

Would you be willing to move our conversation to Hangouts, Facebook, or another social media platform where you have a profile?

It’s crucial to find out whether they have any other social media accounts. Of course, you may conduct a quick search on your own before asking them.
They could even have phony profiles on other social networking sites if they’re a real, skilled fraudster. They often won’t bother with such things, though, and will only state that they dislike social media sites or similar websites instead.

Possibly a video chat?

This shouldn’t be an issue for them if they’re a real person, especially if you’ve been messaging for some time. Instead, people need to be delighted to see you on camera.
On the other hand, if they are a dating scammer, they will invent an explanation for why they can’t video chat with you. They obviously don’t want you to see their true faces. That is the explanation.

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What are you currently doing? Send me a selfie.

Alternatively, if they have nothing to conceal, they’ll reciprocate by sending you a selfie. On the other hand, you should use Google’s reverse image search if they send you a picture of an attractive individual and you immediately know that it was taken by a professional.

Even if they aren’t scammers, they are already breaking the law if they create a bogus profile and use someone else’s images.
Without their permission, using someone else’s images is seen as stealing their identity and is a felony.
If they have another reason for using the images from another person, you should give them the opportunity to explain why.
If they continue to mislead you, you should flag their profile as a fake right away and make sure the dating site is aware that they were impersonating someone else.

When can we have a face-to-face meeting?

The most crucial query you should pose to them is this one. And if you haven’t met them in person, don’t ever provide any private information. Most importantly, wait until they agree to meet up with you before sending them any money or granting them access to your bank account.
You may be able to tell that something is awry with someone if they avoid face-to-face interactions and constantly come up with some pathetic justification for why they can’t.
Block their profile, let them go from your memory (even if it was just virtually), and then carry on. Those problems are not something you need in your life.

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I need your social security number, please.

In the case that the romance scammer requests payment from you, this becomes the most crucial question to ask. First of all, under no circumstances should you consent to giving, money to someone you have never seen before simply because their narrative appears plausible. To start off, always say, “I’ll see what I can do.” no matter how much or how little there is.

Then, in your subsequent conversation, inform them that they must provide their social security number in order to complete the transfer since you discussed it with your lawyer, financial adviser, or bank account manager. They won’t be able to provide a social security number if they don’t have one, of course. Their trick on you will be over after that.

Is romantic fraud against the law? It is, indeed. Make it a point to notify the authorities as soon as you discover a romance scammer. You should try to escape the situation undamaged and leave the rest to the authorities if you’re thinking, “How can you stop a romance scammer?”

The Federal Trade Commission is the place where you may file a complaint. Romance fraudsters sometimes prey on middle-aged singles, widows, widowers, or divorcees because they are financially secure and emotionally open to manipulation. If you or your friends are in that target demographic, share the news with them and teach them how to avoid falling victim to a romance scam.

Frequently asked questions:

Can a fraudster video call you?

No, one of the tricks used by romance scammers is to completely avoid video calls. They could act in this manner in order to conceal their true identity. Their entire ruse is exposed if you are able to view the genuine person you are communicating with. You might consider this to be one of the simplest inquiries to make sure you’re not being conned.

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How do you tell whether the person you are speaking to is a scammer?

First and foremost, if you’re speaking with a scam artist, they’ll seem overly anxious to move the conversation forward. A con artist will be almost pushy in their displays of affection and will use every trick in the book to get you to feel the same way. They would rush in with demands for money as soon as you fell for the trap. Keep a list of inquiries you may make about a dating fraudster handy.

Can a con artist fall in love with their prey?

Most often, syndicates operating out of several cities throughout the world are responsible for running these romantic scams. Frequently, a prospective victim’s account is “handled” by several people. They see it as a business, and they have a very businesslike stance. There is almost no probability that a con artist will fall in love with their victim.

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What could a scam artist do with my image?

Your photos might be used by a con artist to make a convincing online persona so they can con someone else. They can use your image to create false identification documents, bank accounts, phone cards, and number purchases as identity thieves. Your personal bank accounts might be taken over by someone assuming your identity. Private photos are obviously the most overtly utilized form of extortion.