How to fix a relationship
1. Find the problem
The first step to fix any relationship is to find what’s causing the chaos in your relationship. Sometimes the problem is obvious and you can figure out how to fix that but other times you just don’t see where all the problem between you and your partner is coming and in that case, you will have to work hard and find the problem first.
The problem can be in any form and shape and you might not realize if you are causing it. So take a look back and think where all this started, is it because your partner or you are insecure? Or because your partner wants to change you or vice versa. There can be numerous reasons for the problems and the only way to fix your relationship is to find the problem first.
2. Find the patters of problems
Sometimes the reason for the problem can be smaller than you think, it might be something you are doing and or they are doing which is causing the problem in your relationship. And these problems might be repeating themselves because you or they are following the pattern. If that’s the case then you will have to find the pattern and not blame the other person.
For example, if you are leaving a wet towel on the bed and your partner doesn’t like that and then he/she started to yell or blame which makes you angry and then both of you end up having an argument. So the pattern of the fight among you start from you leaving the wet towel on the bed and it ain’t that big of a problem as one might think. All you have to do is to break the pattern and be careful of the things that caused all the arguments between you and your partner!
The bottom line is, instead of blaming another person, you should work together and look at the pattern instead of looking at the people.
3. Communicate with each other
Communication is the key to make things work in any relationship and if the communication lacks then there is hardly anything you can do to fix the relationship.
If there is anything that bothering you or you think something is bothering your partner, then sit with each other and communicate about the problem you guys are having in the relationship.
To communicate better with your partner you will have to accept the fact that there is a problem in your relationship which needs to be fixed. A good talk sometimes can fix all kinds of problems.
4. Don’t hold your emotions
Half of the time the problems start because you bottle up your emotions and feeling about something and don’t say anything when you should have said it. The more you hope your emotions back and pretend to be okay with something you are not, the more the trouble will be in your relationships.
So if there is anything that bothers you or hurt you, talk about it before it starts to create a bigger problem in your relationship. You should deal with the issues as they happen or else it will be a bigger deal.
5. If you are angry ca yourself down first
You can’t fix a problem by getting angry or shouting at your partner, it will only make it worse. So if you are in the middle of a discussion and you are finding yourself getting angry then the first thing you need to do is to go and calm yourself down before you do or say something that makes it even worse.
The general things, like counting to ten or breathing would help, or you can leave the place and get some fresh air to calm yourself down and see the bigger picture so that you can have the “argument” or talk in a more rational manner.
6. Listen to their side of the story as well
You have to understand that the relationship is a two-way street and you are not the only one in it. So whatever you are feeling or going through, chances are the other person is also going through some things which might be causing all these troubles. So bring up the subject and have a nice talk about but make sure you are giving them a chance to explain themselves and listen to their side of the story as well.
This will make you understand what are they feeling and going through. You should put yourself in their shoe as well and show some empathy before making everything about yourself and your feelings.
7. Be calm and be clear about your opinion and feelings
Sometimes the problem starts because you are not able to put your feelings in words and explain to them what exactly is you are feeling. And the best way to talk about your feelings and emotions is to be calm and clear. Don’t play games and give them signs so that they can figure out the problem, be a mature person, and put your opinions and thoughts about something in a calm and clear manner.
8. Learn to compromise
Compromise is also the key to fix a relationship. There won’t be any way to fix the problem in your relationship if you are not willing to compromise. Relationship work on the concept of giving and take and it’s not all about winning an argument or finding your way. You both will have to work together and compromise so that you can fix the issues in your relationships. Discuss your needs and what do you want and be sure to consider the feeling of your partner as well.
9. Don’t bring the past
If you are in the middle of an argument and you are bringing the past, then you are never going to fox your relationship. Whatever you did or they did in the past shouldn’t be your concern anymore. Make sure if you are having an argument or communication it solely focuses on the present scenario.
Bringing up the past is only going to make it worse and its also unfair. So be careful about the things you bring up during a discussion.
10. Respect each other
If you are actually willing to fix the relationship you need to respect each other and accept each other’s flaws and mistakes. Show some respect for your partner, for their feeling, and for all the things that they want. You might not accept these things fully but at least you can be respectful towards them.
11. Forgive each other
It’s not about never making any mistake in a relationship, it’s all about forgiving each other and move on from the past. Once the conversation regarding the problems is done, you both should forgive each other and move on and never look back to this chapter again. Try to forgive more and more!
12. Consider counseling
If you are not able to fix your relationship then don’t hesitate to go for counseling. There is nothing wrong to go for counseling. It only shows that you both want to save your relationship and you ware willing to do everything that it takes as well. And sometimes the professional help is all you need.
You can take the counseling alone as well but it would be better if your partner joins you! The counselor will make you see all the problems and tell you how to fix them as well.
Conclusion:
So these are some of the tips which can help you to fix the problem. We do know that fixing a relationship and making it work again is one of the hardest things but we also know that it’s for the best. It’s so easy to give up on a relationship and love these days but what makes you stronger is your efforts to keep the relationship alive throughout all the odds. We hope you liked our article and find it helpful, thank you for coming and keep visiting for more such articles in the future as well.
